shit like this is going 2 make me go over the edge again....shit like this is going 2 fucking kill me...i try so hard not 2 get upset by what he says....but some how i am weak towards him..i can not hate him...o how i wish i could...all the things he has...it all kills me...why would he say those things? i thought he really loved me? Im sorry, but if i really am all those things he says there is no point in me living anymore because someone like that doesnt deserve to live...they deserve 2 die a slow and painful death....i dont want to feel the things im feeling..i want so badly to be happy..like i have been...but nothing lasts...everytime i am happy..it all just goes away...why canti be normal? Why cant you see how bad you are hurting me? Could you atleast pretend 2 care.... I know that im not a whore though..no matter how much you say that..i wont believe you...because i dont go having sex with ppl...i had sex with YOu and YOU only...so how am i a whore? am i a whore because i realize how bad you were hurting me and stopped letting you treat me that way? Im sorry i promised myself that i would never let a guy treat me the way you did....and i cant believe i did let you for so long...but im done..i give up.... All i can say is im sorry...im sorry for being the person that i am...im sorry for hurting all the people that i have...i never meant 2 hurt any of you... Everytime i smile im trying so hard not to break down in tears...for fear that you will think i am weak...i cant let you get to me...i cant let myself get to me...i need help...i have to be saved from myself....