so here i am again...crying...why? over a fucking guy...im sick of this..why the fuck do i let myself fall for a guy when all that ever comes out of it is heart breat? i dont know what im going 2 do...he truly doesnt know how much he means 2 me...he doesnt know how hard it is 2 see him with her...it fucking kills me..i feel like i been stabbed in the heart a thousand times...you'd think by now id be numb to this feeling..because everytime i start 2 fall for a guy....i wind up in this position...why cant i just fucking find someone that wont ever make me cry?...o wait i forgot...every guy says they will never make u cry..and than when they do...they say im so sorry..and expect you 2 believe them...i am so fuckign stupid...so fucking dumb...i hat emyself so fucking much for every thinking you actually cared....but how can i expect someone 2 care for me when i dont even care for myself??.....kill me please...take away this fucking pain..i cant go on anymore...you are slowly killing me...so why cant i just finish myself off? help me...save me....i need you.....you are the reason i am so strong...yet my biggest weakness...i surrender...i give up..im done trying....im sick of all this shit...its funny..i say im done with trying..but at the same time...i still do so...i cant stop trying...i cant...no matter how much i try...i should have 2 listened 2 every1 when they warned me....but no..im so stupid...i hate this shit.... Jennifer<3<3