I've been a bad bad girl,

I've been careless with a delicate man.

And it's a sad sad world,

When a girl will break a boy

Just because she can.

Don't you tell me to deny it,

I've done wrong and I want to

Suffer for my sins.

I've come to you cause I need

Guidance to be true

And I just don't know where I can begin.

What I need is a good defense

'cause Im feelin like a criminal.

And I need to be redeemed

To the one I sinned against

Because he was all I ever knew of love.

Heaven help me for the way I am.

Save me from these evil deeds.

Before I get them done.

I know tomorrow brings the consequence

At hand.

But I keep livin' this day like

The next will never come.

Oh, help me, but don't tell me

To deny it.

I've got to cleanse myself.

Of all these lies till I'm good

Enough for him.

I've got a lot to lose and I'm

Bettin' high

So I'm beggin you before it ends

Just tell me where to begin.

Let me know the way

Before there's hell to pay.

Give me room to lay the law and let me go.

I've got to make a play

To make my lover stay

So, what would an angel say?

'cause the devil wants to know.

--------------------------------------------------

Ugh... I just had to. It's a perfect match.

I'm so unhappy. I don't know who to trust... including myself. Casual sex just seems so easy... and satisfying.

I really am the devil. In some form. Or the little angel on my one shoulder was taken out by the devil on my other.

I forgot how cynical I used to be.

I tried to get Cory to tell me not to do it. If he told me he didn't want me to, I wouldn't. But apparently that's bullshit because I slept with Andrew and he OBVIOUSLY didn't want me to do that. EVERY FUCKING TIME.

Maybe I'm just a hopeless case. I put all my eggs in one basket or w/e. It wasn't fair of me to make Cory think he would change me. Or to make myself think he could change me.

I really love him. So much.

Whatever. Cooper is eager to hang out. Did the fact that I fell asleep mean that I shouldn't be with him? I don't know. The logical reason is that I didn't sleep the night before and ran errands all day, didn't nap, and then partied. Since when do I take inherent meaning bullshit to heart?

Since Cory. Because he lead me to believe in soul mates and all the lovey-dovey bullshit that I used to laugh at.

Logic Logic. I need my logic. I was a straight A student when I stuck to my logic.

I am a complete disgrace.

Is it enough to die?