so i am really tired of people, and this is going to be my last entry on this diary. i dont care what people have to say about me! and for people who know my new name...you know where to go, and for everyone else, i am sorry to say this but please just leave me be. i am really getting tired of being a league too high! well guess what? i am not anymore, for now on i have no league, i'm just Rachel Adams! thats it! so live with it!

so anyway kyle and i had some fun! lol! not bad fun, but it was still fun! we went on yahoo pool, and pretended to be bi girls and tried to get guys really excited, but they were boring tonight! er! but he realized how many pigs are really out there! lol!

When Cancer and Virgo make a love match, a strong, down-to-earth relationship with staying power is the happy result. This is a relationship with great potential to get better and better over the passing years. Both Cancer and Virgo are goal-oriented and disciplined. They are sincere and devoted to one another and share a strong sense of purpose. No lightweight love here: These two were not really built for flings! Cancer and Virgo deeply admire one another: Virgo respects Cancer's quiet strength and dedication while Cancer appreciates Virgo's keen adaptability and intelligence. These lovers may get off to a slow start, but over time, bonds will only grow stronger. The Cancer-Virgo love match prides itself on common sense and strong principles over fluff and inconsequential or fleeting connections. They enjoy the material comforts of life, but they will only feel good about their bounty if it has come as a result of honest hard work. There could be tiffs if Virgo becomes too critical for Cancer's easily bruised feelings; Cancer needs to understand that it's just Virgo's nature to point out what they observe, that it's not a personal attack. A Virgo may bristle at their Cancer mate's stubborn streak, but it's a trait that a patient and understanding love partner like Virgo could come to appreciate. Also, Virgo's urge to serve suits Cancer's affectionate, nurturing nature well. The Moon (Emotion) rules Cancer, and Mercury (Communication) rules Virgo. Though they're very different planets, they're both near the Sun and therefore always in one another's neighborhoods. The Moon is a mothering influence; it's about cultivation and fostering growth, which are both central concerns for Cancer. Mercury is all about communication, and it's an androgynous energy -- Virgo will adapt and take on the form that it chooses, the guise that best serves a situation. Virgo takes an intellectual approach to life (especially compared to the emotional Cancer), but still manages to be perceptive and intuitive enough to figure others out if they choose. Good thing for the Crab, then, that a Virgo mate can get a feel for devotion and domestic fulfillment if that's what their Cancer lover desires. These two won't argue about fulfilling one another's needs. They'll work at it and relish the rewards of their conscientiousness. Cancer is a Water Sign, and Virgo is an Earth Sign. Earth Signs, true to their name, are down-to-earth, but they can also be materialistic and preoccupied with acquisition. The Cancer-Virgo love partners like to surround themselves with comfortable, well-crafted things. Water Signs rely on feeling and intuition, making Cancer the emotive force behind this relationship, in a subtle Cancer way, of course. Along with their desire for prosperity, their love of a fancy home life ensures that this couple will work hard toward this shared goal. Also, they're practical pair, and losing control is never really an issue. Cancer is a Cardinal Sign, and Virgo is a Mutable Sign. While Cancer gets things going, Virgo thrives on a changing routine of responsibilities and challenges. Because they're so ubiquitous, Virgo will find a place in Cancer's plans if they really want to. Virgo will keep in mind Cancer's plans, and will eventually bring results even if Cancer has moved on. What's the best aspect of Cancer-Virgo relationship? Their dedication to working toward the same goals. Both partners in this love match enjoy a stable home life and nice things, and Virgo truly enjoys helping Cancer along the way to achieving their goals. Their shared goals and desires make theirs a highly compatible love match.

so i am so happy right now! my dad is so probably mad at me right now! hehehe! i am not sexually active! and i had a doc to back me up! hehehe! lol! well anyway, i had a great day! :D but there are some bad things i have to work through...everything should be okay...i hope! :( i have to get my thyroid checked out yet again, adn my doc sad that that might be the reason i am having problems...yup um problems! hehe!

You scored as Cancer. You get along best with the sign of Cancer. Although Cancerians can be extremely crabby, or moody, you love them like they love you back. Cancerians hold their friends and family very dear to themselves. They have a a wide variety of emotions to share with everyone. The only other problems that Cancerians have are that they are sometimes too brutaly honest (non-tactful at times). That, and they can be very unforgiving sometimes.Cancer90%Taurus80%Libra80%Aquarius80%Gemini70%Sagittarius70%Leo70%Scorpio70%Pisces70%Capricorn55%Aries50%Virgo10%What sign of the Zodiac are you meant for?created with QuizFarm.com

so i am probably going to either to kill her or kick her out of the house. i am tired of her whining about irrevelent things and i really don't care who she fucking wants to date. so yeah that's it! well other than my dad being gay! i really want to go with sarah on saturday and well i dont know if i can since my dad is being gay!

You scored as Immature. Your immature. Please rate my quiz!Immature100%Outgoing94%Fun88%Nice75%Dramatic31%Shy25%mean19%what kind of person are you? (shy,outgoing,fun,mean,immature,dramatic or nice?)created with QuizFarm.com

so...i love being so...me! hehe! i am about to kill my family, but i'm having a great time! cant really explain just yet, but htings will be going down!

so i am sick and tired of comforming to what people fucking want me to be! i'll do what i want when i want, and i dont care how much anyne hates me for it! i can't change anymore, its starting to kill me! i just want to live my life without people telling me i'm doing it wrong! i'm sorry, i had to say something...well i should probably explain... i came home to steve and chris hanging out, and then once i came in christine started baggering me about what i do and who my friends are! er! i am so sick of her, oh i'm a college student attitude!

hahahahaha! temporary insanity! mwahahahaha! well anyway! i am um...how to say this...okay nevermind i wont! hehe! now you all have to gues! hahaha! i'm evil i now! :D okay love you all...or not!

so i am not able to go see sharon today! er! my dad said that my room isn't good enough, so now i have to work so i can atleast go to sarah's thinger. hehe! well i am supposed to be cleaning my room, but got distracted by these damn scholarships! lol! well i have to get going! oh yeah, i have talked to a little few about this dating thing, and well i have decided that the best for me is to take everything in baby steps. i'm tired of sprinting in and out of relationships! love love :D

so i am here at school, and well i wish that i had my car today! :( so i have a big decision to make, and i don't want to be the one to have to make it! well here it is! i have a few guys that "like" me and well i'm not sure that i want to date any of them. i know that i like them as friends, but i am looking for more than just a boyfriend. i want someone i can talk to, and cry with. i am tired of the high school expectations of a relationship. er! i want someone and something, but it seems that everything i want is out of reach! oh damn! well i dont know what ekse to write, so i am gunna go laugh at brondon! hehe! love you all! Guy #1 You scored as yes yes yes you are truely in love. you guys will totaly end up together in the long runyes yes yes you are truely in love83%you guys are better of being best buds33%get out while you still can17%hes not the right one for you0%is it love or are you just friends?created with QuizFarm.com guy #2 You scored as yes yes yes you are truely in love. you guys will totaly end up together in the long runyes yes yes you are truely in love67%you guys are better of being best buds50%hes not the right one for you8%get out while you still can0%is it love or are you just friends?created with QuizFarm.com guy #3 You scored as you guys are better of being best buds. even though you aren't in love he is still a good frined and that is still really great!!you guys are better of being best buds33%yes yes yes you are truely in love0%hes not the right one for you0%get out while you still can0%is it love or are you just friends?created with QuizFarm.com guy #4 You scored as hes not the right one for you. maybe you should look a little harder, try to find someone who wont disappoint you in the long run...hes not the right one for you75%you guys are better of being best buds67%yes yes yes you are truely in love33%get out while you still can33%is it love or are you just friends?created with QuizFarm.com

i am really happy! i cant explain it, but teaching those blocks today seemed to really up my mood! :D i cant believe how much i love teaching! well anyway, back to relationships, since that's all i ever think about! anyway! i dont know what to think anymore. i want to feel love, i want to find the one, and well it just isn't getting any better. i know i could have a relationship with anyone, but i dontwnt anyone! i want the one! er! i dont know! i have choices, but i am afraid of choosing the wrong one! i never regret, adn i dont want to start! i need a hug, or kiss...okay i need a lot more than that, but i have to wait another year ;)

so i have decided what i am going to do with my hair. um...i am going to try to get it cut somewhat like caeleigh's and then on the bottom layer i am goin gto die it black! :D yay! i am so excited! my dad is goign to hate it! okay well i have to go...love you all! ps ashley we need to get together with sharon soon...i found something in my book, that we could make our own spells...and well i need help making one, i don't think i am strong enough!

i hate this shit! why cant i just go away and never come back!

so this weekend was tough on a lot of people, and i know i am facing it right now. i hate having to make choices, and well i feel choices hate me too! :) i shouldn't be in a good mood, since hell is being leashed soon, and well i know i am going to be completely furious with the world soon...just a warning now! hehe! well maybe if i find a place to go to make all of my dreas come true...man if that place existed i would nut! *sigh* i feel poetic, well kinda! how is it that you could spend eternity in the arms of yor lover, but one minute away seems like forever? er! man i wish i could just feel that touch one more time! you know, hat loving touch as you sleep. the one that has their arms around you tightly, and they cant stop kissing your forehead. :( i miss that so much. i just am afraid of what i have to do to get it! maybe when i move away things will get better...i need to find out if my grandpa can take me in this summer! hm...maybe i'll go to detroit to live with some friends...that'll be fun! :) i could get away from things, but still have people i know care about me...too bad i'm not sure if i could! er! my dad is coming back tomorrow night, that means my grounding starts soon...well i dont care about the grounding really, i am going to be busy with school anyway, but i can't help but fear for what i might get myself into with my father. it seems like no matter how i am he thinks that same of me...only if i had a way to show him who i really am. then maybe he would stop seeing me as a little girl! i miss being my dads little girl...*sigh* it kinda pathetic when you think about it. i know i have a great life, but it only seems natural to want more! i always want more and never less. i feel selfish now! :( maybe i'll do something nice for an old friend...i dont know! am i really a selfish person? i've heard it more this year than in the rest of my life! if you think so please tell me, i want to change...MORE WANTING! shoot me now!

so i dont know what to do anymore...i'm not sad, but kinda worried. i dont want to have to make choices anymore, i feel like i keep hurting people! er! well i am done!

-i want to be protected -i want to be kissed -i want to be loved -i want to sleep in my lovers arms -i want to run -i want to cry -i want to marry -i want as many kids as i can afford -i want to work -i want to see my family once more -i want to feel again -i want to make love in the rain -i want my father to see who i really am -i want my friends by my side -i want to look my best -i want to feel my best -i want to be the best -i want to see my mom again -i want to be young again -i want to taste life -i want to make mistakes -i want to learn -i want to be silly -i want to grow up -i want to be able to speak my mind with all of these wants...the one thing i dont want is to stop wanting.

so i am in a definate mood, but i can't explain it...i know my mood is longing, but i am not sure if thats the righ tword for me right now. i have this guy i actually really like, and well i know its not love...which it could grow to become...but its most definately not lust. i cant stop smiling...hehe! well i don't know what to do! damn my nonexisting backbone! i wish i could tell him how a really feel! i see him everyday, but yet i never seem to have the strength to say what i want to say...he's kinda like my knight...but i think that he's never going to come and sweep me off my feet! :( i hate not knowing if they like you back, and asking him would send a voulernbility (can't spell) and i dont know if i could leave myself open to rejection! *sigh* i truely feel that these are the feelings of a mad man...well woman in my case :) only if i could be the world to him!

so i am at my grandmas this week, and it's kinda cool. i dont know what to do about my problem, but i think that i dont care right now... my grandma told me yesterday that mom has a guy in tc that wants to meet me! lol! hehe! well i am not sure if it's good or bad :) i think that things are going to be looking up!