text messages sure can fuck with you. anywayz.. i start yoga/pilates at the college today.. actually, it's called "balance & beyond", uh yeah cool name i know. & i woke up two hours earlier than i have to.. to a text message i'd been waiting a week for. but it could mean nothing. my morning thoughts are usually scrambled.. like i like my eggs. eggs? right, i start actual classes tomorrow.. i'm pretty sure being on a schedule is going to make me less sane. like everything else does. hey.. hey, i'm nuts! reeaalllyy.

i've been up since 6:30 & i'm still exhausted. summer is nice but the past few days i've felt crazy. i guess when i got involved with someone, someone i don't understand & certainly can't explain, a feeling of insanity is likely to occur? cool. or maybe i'll just blame it on the weather. i don't know, but as soon as my coffee kicks in i'm going to ride my bike somewhere pretty. & speaking of coffee, i spilt some on my ipod & now it doesn't work. whatever.

i just got back from the violent femmes & i'm writing in here again because, well, i want to. & i haven't been able to sleep able but i'm going to try & i'll write something real laterr. & be my friend kay bye.

i've never listened to this song and it could have never came at a more appropriate time. "you gave me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away.. i should have kissed you when we were alone.. biggest mistake" blahhhhh so i'm writing in here and so far it's really depressing, or maybe not, maybe i just am.. and i can't believe i did what i just did and FUCK, i'll get over it though, i'll get over everything. anyways, can ipod shuffle stop playing songs i can relate to now please.. umm i'll write late when it's not lame, but yeah.. I'M BACK.

... I said, what the hell, I'll write another entry just for kicks. Mostly because I really want to make this diary pretty & if I'm going to do that I just have to write a new entry. Well kids, everythings going great... & I still recommend you get an ell jay asapcular. <33333 babay.

Gawd, I am so over this site & all the people that have one [except you know, my friends]. If yer really intersted im me... I have a live journal [itsdynamite]. I recommend you invest yer time in making one of those, SO much better. But I would like to thank sit diary for all those great times... I'm a LOSERRR & now im gone... POOF.

i am so sore... ouch... HMM.

i feel so bad you dont even understand... i dont want to go into great detail, i just want to say im SO sorry... if there was a time machine i would buy it & go back & change all the mistakes ive made... but unfotunatly that is not possible... but i so wish it was... i wish i could live in my own world with bright green meadows covered in daisys being blown by the wind & it would always be happy & sunny & your favorite songs would be constantly in the background & there would be towns of gingerbread houses & youd be able to fly & everything would talk,-(animals, flowers, um everything) & only cool people would be allowed... uh yeah i think ill stop now.

i feel like writing so i am going to damnit... lately ive been feeling really weird & awkward & pissed & sad... i feel like im in my own world & everything around me is fake & no matter what i do it will never be like it was... why are people so careless as to how other people feel? but at the same time other people are so great, so i shouldnt complain... this summer has been cool, im always busy & never bored, which is unusual... yeah its funny how before summer starts you have this image in your head of what is yet to come... but for me it turns out the exact opposite, oh well i guess shit happens... well im going to be in a band & that is going to be really cool... yeah...

okay heres a couple of pictures of my oh-so-fun summer... yeah & a lot of other stuff happened but you cant get everything on camera, can ya?

So I decided since it's Summer I am not going to waste my time here on sitdiary. Really this whole writing about my day and thoughts just does not do it for me like it used too anyway... So hopefully this Summer will be a good one, yeah I really hope so. Well, I guess if you want to talk to me or anything you can call me: 7665610 or you know, im me: fridayiminlove45... yeah so maybe ill write when the summer is over... yeah.

I've been really confused lately. I don't understand myself at times. How frustrating is that? VERY. Then I think about everything too much. So last night I kept thinking about stupid stuff & couldn't sleep. Now I am tired as hell & I am going to turn on alice in wonderland and take a nap. It's a really cool movie to fall asleep to. Yeah so I am going to go do that now. Bye. - Did I mention I have two more days of school? How cool is that? VERYYYY.

Time for an update... It feels like a chore to write in this damn diary, I wonder how much longer it will last. Hmm. Well my summer is going great. But something is missing, something BIG... but I won’t bore you on those details. I figured out what a Cassavettes is, actually who he is & I ordered one of his films & its waiting at my dads house. Which I must say excites me very much. Anyways I really want to see The Moving Units this Friday... eh we'll see what happens.

5 more days... until schools out. ----- June 15: ive had a really long day... 3 half days of finals & IM OUT FOR GOOOOOD... of oxnard that is.

Yeah so since 3:49 p.m today I am officially vegan AND im going to stick to it. But now I realized that means I cannot eat pretty much any of the food we have. Uh, oh well I guess. I went to the mall with Shauna which was fun. We got an Ouija Board & we were going do it (haha) tonight.... but um we can't until next Saturday. We even tried it at the park but it didn't work... Yeah im still talking about the Ouija Board. So, I still need to look into getting a job. UH ooh weirdest picture everrr: YEAH there is no reason for that light thing, I bet it was a ghost or something, yeah CREEPY. Ahh I just heard a weird noise, now im scraed, greatttt. AHHHHHHH I heard anther really loud noise, not coool. Oh well, I really neeed to go to Urban Outfitters... I was going to hop on the train & go there, by myself, today. But maybe i'll just do that tomorrow. God typing using correct puncuation and capitals is quite annoying. Hmmm... I really don't like long entries. But I guess it's enevitable.

...at my new favortie sweater.... it has hearts on it & i looove it. actually its not thatttt great, im just bored. REALLY bored. but thats okay.

alice in wonderland is by far the best disney movie everrrrrrr. anyways school is going to be over soon, yessss. i think i want to get a job this summer, infact im going to look into to it tomorrow. i have nothing to say, maybe because im stupid, but im not about to get all sad about it. (whatthehelldidijustsay?) hmm, goodbye.

Today was a fun day. I got to go downtown with Shauna finally & I got my hair did. Mmmhmm, I like it. Yeah so we had a million & three cups of coffee (minus the million) which is always good. We spent about 3 hours downtown, so you can just imagine all the things we might have done. Oh we saw Charles there, WEIRD. Then we headed over to the mall & spent about 4 hours over there. Which was pretty fun seeing how the mall is usually stupid. new hair cut, hmm... thosearereallybadpictures. Anyways, I really need to go to bed, I havent been getting enough sleep at all. p.s I REALLY need a new digital camera, mine is falling apart, any givers? huh? huh? ---- yeah i think im having an anxiety attack, weird, i dont like this at all.

YOU KNOW WHAT? no. you dont get to see any pictures.

yeah the shins were great. so was the 2nd band, rogue wave, & the 1st band was retarded, but hey that happens. anyways, it was a really good show. im glad i listen to good music, mmmmhmmm... well, now i cant wait until lollapalooza, thats gonna be great X 128371329. yeah thats pretty damn great, huh? well thats all.