This has not been a good night. the best part is the MCR poster and P!ATD shirt in the bag at my feet. But the homework to my left, the shouting mother up above, and the crying cat down below all ruined it. Not to mention the fact that I'm feeling really bad for eating fast food and for spedning too much money. I need something loud,fast, and pissed. Kind of like me right now. I want to throw myself in a mosh pit and forget it all. This feels like a moment to break out The Used. You know, Bert maybe be crazy, but he's good for the nerves. Well, my nerves. Yes, this feels better. Loud, pissed, and fast. "i've lost all doubt in a chemical romance" Yeah, I wish. But I'm a bit of a drug-phobe, so no, I'm not on anything. Maybe My Chemical Romance, but not just a normla one. We have to get specific here, people. Like Marissa kept needing to be, until I felt I was going to strangle her. You can't be to specific during film, or it will only lead to dissapointment. It doesn't work, being specific. Just enough so that you've thought it through, but are still perfectly flewable. Then you know you're good. Anything loud that p[umps through speakers works fine with me. I need to hear the "get well soon"s and "fuck off and die"s with the same clarity that I hear the raw emotion of these humans that are so not human. They are other beings, other cretures, just barely like us. They're relatable without needing to relate. I need someone to realte. I need that. Why is it that I'm the only one without that, that one thing that is my crutch, my life, my love??? Is this it, this sad excuse for a life and love, the sounds that pour out of every source of noise possible?? It can't be, becasue if it was, then I'd be fulfillled. I'd be fine. I wouldn't be racking my mind, body, and what's left of my soul for the real reason behind my life. Is there one? Is there really a reason beihind my life??? Why not? I mean, if I'm here, aren't I here for a goddamn reason??? Or this a fucking trick on the world, throwing in this randomness that we'll call a human girl, and let's see what happens when she realizes that purpose and direction are the two things she's missing. And this whole time, we thought it was a hobby and a boyfriend. "Take my hand, take my life" "Brothers and sisters I'm right here with you, Cause everyone's got one, A story to kill me I'm so apathetic in my resentment Living, loving, knowing not" ~~Karinaet- "O happy dagger...here is thy sheath."