so last night i took 3 pink pills, and 1 big white pill because i couldnt sleep. I slept from 2am straight through 8am. Miraculous. My dad found an empty box of ciggarettes and a razor blade in my car (the glove compartment to be exact) When he showed me the razor blade, my initial reaction was to sort of chuckle, but the look on his face soon had me realizing it was not a time to laugh. "I'm not doing coke," i said. "ok, well what am i supposed to think? Why do you have this then?" "I dunno....i dunno..." "I want an explanation." "Im not doing coke or anything like that ok..." "well then why? why do would you have a razor blade in ur glove compartment? I want to know what you would use this for" "I would use it for slitting my wrists" -silence is deadly- "I would like to think i know who you are, but im questioning that more and more now" Sorry dad, but its true you dont know me. And im not lying, but you're not listening-you dont wanna see the wreck i am. You want to see a smiling,dancing,happy little girl not the one who drinks until she fucking hurls, not the one who smokes like a chimmney and splices lines on mirrors-not the one whos alone at night and tries to fly but can't take flight. Im begging you not to see this...who could really save a wretch like me? But Im done feeling like a skeleton- no more sleep walking dad, im gunna wake from this coma, im gunna crawl from this bed i made. I'm Not Yours to be Saving