i ruined their life! He ruined mine! This is bullshit...this hurts! I can't tell them how i really feel! I love them so much but i know the don't return the feeling! She takes his side, she's supposed to be there for moral support but when i tell her what' sup she acts like she don't care, or she ignores me, or she acts like i'm taking up her time. I just dont know how to deal..i'na die! that's just it...she'll be happy without me...he'll be happy with out me...the only people who will care is my family...it's sad to say but its true...i dont' get the love i give out and it hurts! it hurts so bad! He lied to me his fucking bitch ass lied to me! I don't know why! but it hurts it hurts so fucking bad...they just dont' understand the pain i go thru...they can be buddy buddy and talk shit about me....behind my back...and lie to me! my life is over as i know it...this pain that runs thru body is so fucking piercing...they understand that what they do the lies what they say hurts! that's all they know how to do...i just want to move away forever...not move but die...kill myself...pop so many fucking pills to kill the piercing pain...i'm depressed i can't handle it...if i didn't love them this much to try to work with them...then i would have a long ass time ago... How can they do this to me! I know it's never going to stop unless i'm not around...I wanna go...go away from here...get the fuck away from my "best friend"...get away from my lying prick ass boyfriend...away from it all!!Cause it hurts too much the pain that i go thru... And without me they won't have to worry about me...what i'm going to do next... he says he cares but the prick doesn't!! U can say get over it move on...its over with...yea it's easy to say but not easy to do....my heart, my soul, my body and brain ache....it aches so much...it's so fuckin broken theres no way in hell to mend it all back together no matter what i say or what i do i will always love him! I don't know why!! We were seriously going to get married and have a kid in the future...we've been together for 1 yr and 7 months... we had our really good times...and the times that we just wanted to kill eachother in... and i'm pissed and heart and i just want to die there's nothing else to it! No more good times..no more bad..just stuck in a parallel universe...on my own...by myself...deaddddddddddddddddd! They don't need me around i dont' need them!