So I first accepted that he was actually dead… that took the longest… but now it has set in that he actually killed himself…. My mom is angry that e did it… saying that it means that he didn’t really care about anyone but himself… and maybe it’s because of all the times that I almost or tried to kill myself, but I feel sorry for him… I know that he wasn’t very religious, so I don’t think that he believes in heaven or hell, but I have recently (within the past few years) become more so religious… so I’m worried now that he is suffering in eternal damnation. He was one of the nicest guys I had even known, so I would hope that it wouldn’t be so… I find myself being angry at the people who are angry or not even acknowledging his death, let alone his suicide… The memorial is this week, either Thursday or Friday… my mom is going to let me miss school to go… But here’s another thing I’m angry about… it’s just a memorial… not even a funeral… we’re just going to Eagle’s (a crapy club place where the stuff is always so tacky..) there isn’t really going to any mourning time.. just basically another family reunion… with yet another missing family member…