again... its feels like forever since the last "update" and i dont really have time to write in details so im going to do my best. so to some life up- until i have time to write an update with details- lifes been insane and dramatic but fun at times... but more that anything its been stressful and its really starting to take its toll on me. lately ive been crying for noo reason and like i have a hard time stopping myself once i start. i feel like a complete asshole for stopping at kiiks the other day- it was like "heyy havent seen or really talked to you in weeks but let me come over and cry for a half hour and then leave" so after that i felt like a complete idiot. ive been trying to be home as little as possible- its almost like ive moved in a shells house over the summer. its usually fun but theres always drama (the stoory of my life... drama drama drama) but its really the only place that i have to go. my piece of shit car has costed me more money to fix it in the past couple of weeks then i payed for it to begin with. and on top of that i still havent found a job... babysitting sucks and i get payed like nothing for all the hours that im there. school starts in a couple of weeks... im looking forward to senior year in some ways- but i miss all of the seniors from last year already and senior year isnt anything like i thought it was going to be. so many things have changed and i know that change can be a good thing but i dont think that i like the way things have changed :/ nothing is like i imagined it would be like. theres so many things that are still messed up and according to my mom she thinks that i should just say how i feel to a number of different people (its probably not best to mention any names here... for tonns of reasons) because "even if things dont change at least i let them know that i need or needed them and that theyve really hurt me" -well see how that goes. i think that its going to be really hard to do something like that. its one of those things thats easier said then done. well ive got to go get ready for another night out of my house- thank god- because everyone here is miserable as usual. until whenever- lattter kiddds.