i can't sleep. 3:03am. GOOD TIMES, by myself. LOSER - ahem. so i'm living at my aunts, and for the past 2 weeks, life has been shit. plain and simple - SHIT. yet again, i have left my home. i have left my friends. i have left school. all because of my mom. good going mom, if that's what i should even call you. i'm living at my aunts. i love her so much. she means a lot to me. but, i really think i should live with my other aunt. here - they don't have a room for me, they're tight on money because of additions to the house (and having another teenager in the house costs quite a bit), i can't see my friends, and im scared to go to a different school. im scared shitless. 3rd highschool, that's hard. i know i should be used to it cause i've been to 4756534568664 schools all my life, but now, i want it to stop. i was content. i was starting to like my social life, i was starting to get new/more friends. - WELL if i lived with my other aunt, i could see my friends back home whenever i wanted because her boyfriend goes through london all the time, i could get a job, they have a spare bedroom, i could finish my courses online, and all would be good. trust me, if it was the same with the aunt im with now, i'd want to stay here. im really not picking who is the better aunt, they are equal, i respect each equal, i love both equal, and i'd do anything for the both of them. but im scared to leave the aunt im with now. i really am. seeing as she has depression and her mental state isnt great right now, i know leaving her would break her heart. and i hate seeing her upset, and crying. it kills me. but i feel like too much trouble here, she doesnt need my problems on her back. she has her husband and daughter to worry about, she doesnt need me to add more on her back. im just so confused. and i feel bad for making a decision, but i feel like i havent made a decision about anything, and i feel like i cant, because if i go to my other aunts, i know that would cause drama. and i know i wouold hurt the aunt im with now. im fucking trapt. and it makes me so upset, and frusterated. i'll have to talk to her sometime about this, cause i havent even told her. tomorrow i guess, but im really scared. i dont want her to get angry. and i dont want her to feel like i like the other aunt more, cause i dont. thats just ridiculous, it just makes more sense to me to go to my other aunts.