alright so its fortyone minutes after joannas birthday and ...i feel...like my move has finally set in...and i dont like it one bit. i feel horrible...alana and sarah and jenny were here today and all i could think about was joanna and how its her birthday and how horrible i would feel if she didnt think about me at least once today but how horrible i felt because sarah and alana and jenny were here adn thats all i couldthink about...its hard. not being there. i feel like a divorced parent..still being able to talk to them, and yet...never really getting to see them...its hard. and thats all i know.