i have gotten my heart broken...not once, this summer, but twice. both by boys...who live nowhere near me. the first time was with rollin..if we didnt live like two thousand miles apart...more like...two blocks...we'd go out. we are so made for each other. no lie...we get each others sense of humor and dumb jokes. we feed off each other...or, at least we did, for that week we were inseperable...two peas in a pod, it was inevitable and undeniable that we liked each other.although, not to each other...to others, yes, but not to us, we were oblivious to the fact that the other would like ourselves...we were the mission trip snoggers, as jeff called us and the week long romance, as everyone else called us...stupid minnesota and dumb girlfriends. i wept with sorrow the instant i realized i would never see him again. Now thats enough to break your heart right? now this... alright...so0o0 I met Justin through Jake, whom i met through Jenna, whom i love and sorta through Jess and Jess, whom i also love equally. mainly it was Jenna though, anyways so she sorta hooked the two of us up and that was a BIG disaster. anyways, its over, via voicemail. so, a while back, he had introduced me and joanna to his neighbor, justin. and by introduced, i mean he three way called the two of us, joanna and me and then justin would call and he'd add him and we'd all talk...Justin and i hit it off pretty much from there...i always thought when people say that they're just corny sounding.anyway, jake evidently can NOT tlka to one person at a time on the phone and has to include several others, so, on several occasions, it has been me and justin, and on a few occasions, kelly, now who is kelly?...well...to my stupidity, kelly is justins fourteen yearoldgirlfriend who hates me, according to jake...and up until last week, kelly was just a friend of theirs...who hated me. now, see. i knew justin had a girlfriend, i just didnt know who. and yeah i'd tease him about being seventeen and having a fourteen year old girlfriend...he'd always be like..im gonna come there and we're gonna hang out...and i was like...right...and just a buncha other stuff, which i dont feel like sharing with you...becase, he is a guy, and tends to get horny at night, and tends to say things when he is horny, and they are not always things he means. anyway...so, i think the biggest slap in the face came last week...jake was like, yeah, justins prolly on the phone with kelly...adn i was like ...i thought YOU and kelly were friendds and hes like...no...thats justins girlfriend..and i started crying instantly... i knew he had a girlfriend...i just didnt know it was kelly...and...i dunno...not that me and her are enemies, just...why does he have to go out with her...and then the other night, we both slapped ourselves in the face with reality HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND...that isnt meand we shouldnt be talking about some of the things we were..and...e talked ..like talked intellectually for about an hour and a half or so...more like i talked and cried and he listened and i apologized for him having to listen...and then he said...'im not going to have a girlfriend forever...'...and 'im as close to you as i can get without going out with you...' gawl, i really like him a lot...and...i just i dont know...it hurts...and evidently, im his best girl friend. i dont know...he says he likes me...but how can i believe him? im so...i dunno maybe he does like me...im so unassured of myself when it comes to guys. like, i look at myself and wonder why any guy in his right mind would like me..it hurts and i love them both. so thats me and whats on my mind