i feel like i'm the middle off a weird transition. I don't love the things that i used to cherish. like music for example, i used to eat, sleep, and breath music. it was my life, but now i don't really give a fuck. i enjoy playing drums still but i feel no drive wHAT so ever to play regularly, improve, or spend time playing with a band writting new songs or playing old ones. the music i once loved is dead. skateboarding isn't the same either. i love bombing hills but it brings me up and puts me down in a matter of seconds. i haven't surfed in months, but yet i never truely feel the desire to drive to the beach, put on a wetsuit and paddle out. i like dirtbiking, but my bike died and i have no drive to fix it right now. football is a love/hate sorta thing but i like meeting new people and getting in shape. besides what else would i do with all that time? go to work? fuck no. i hate my job more than anything but i found a gliche in the system. i really get paid to do nothing meaningful to the world at all. why would i work anywhere else? women. do i really need to say anything else? it's a "can't live with them can't live without them" sorta deal. my whole life nothing in relationships has faised me. i never cared, ever. until now. i never once thought that i would care this much and i really can't help it. we'll see what happens next..