college is lots of fun! there is so much to do and the dorm life is incredible. I hate all the homework though, it sucks!! love, jackie

it has been so long.. so whats new.. joseph and i broke up, im going to sonoma state in two weeks, and im excited but sad. i dont want to leave those few really good friends i have, and im not sure i want to be away from joseph. things have been so weird lately. im having a garage sale on sunday.. everyone should come. i want to make some money, and im gonna sell my surfboard. i gotta start packing for sonoma... i wish i didnt have to grow up. i loved being innocent, poor, and ignorant. i loved being someone who could believe in fantasys. i loved being the kid that got so excited to go to theme parks, and to get mcdonalds once in a while. i wish i could be the person that knew what they wanted in life... i hope things will work out. this place has gotten so sad since the boom of myspace. i have to admit im addicted, but i still love my old sitdiary. xoxo-jackie

it summer!! i graduated from highschool and it was really fun. grad night was soo awesome. im going off to sonoma state college this fall which is 40 minutes north of san francisco. things are allright. ive been hanging out with my friends non stop because im going to miss them all so much when i leave. joseph and i are still together, which amazes me still. almost two years together, and one of those has been while hes been away. hes hopefully moving here soon. the fourth of july was fun, i got alot of phone calls from all my drunken friends lol. im gonna miss everyone so much, but it will be fun starting a new part in my life,...haaha. that was so corny.

its been a long time since i wrote in this. well,.im seeing my baby at the end of may, which will be awesome. philly here i come! the ap test is on monday,..im scared. im graduating soon! only a little over a month now,..its wierd. im really excited to go to college though, it will be lots of fun. i hope i can find something to major in though. im gonna see pearl jam live,.right after their new album came out..omg orgasmic! anyways,...i cant wait to get away from stupid fake people. my school is full of them, at least i will be somewhere where drama is left at the door.

yay my baby is coming today i am so excited!!!! woot woot!

so my baby is coming to visit me in fifteen days!!!! im assited!!! we even got a hotel for a night and im stoked. we are gonna go to disneyland too!! woot woot! it will be so nice to get kisses again. mmmm! ive just realized how long i have had this thing! it will be two years in june. that is sooo long. things are allright. im gonna be going to sonoma in the fall and it will be exciting. i love knowing that i get to go have an adventure, and experience a lot of new things. hopefully everything will work out and my bf will get a place out here and we can actually be together proximity wise. i love him so much. hes my punkin. we had our year and a half anniversary the other day and it amazes me how long its been. sit diary was here for the whole thing hehe. ive been trying to lose weight lately and its been going allright, ive lost a few pounds which makes me hopeful. i dont really know what aloof means but i picked it as a mood. i cant wait to live somewhere new and get to meet new people. it will be awesome not having to deal with high school drama. im not sure what im going to major in, which scares me. i dont know what i want to do. i love animals,...maybe something with that. it will be awesome living somewhere where the air is so clean and there are so many trees, and even some snow sometimes!! thats about it.

u suck i hate you

im scared that all of the decisions ive made might backfire on me. im not sure if i am doing this right. i know that i want to be with him, but thats all im certain of. what about everything else? what if it doesnt work out? im scared. it cant get any worse, i hope. i wish i was sure of things. i scare myself, and i know i scare everyone else.

im thinking about you, as i sit here at my computer with my wet hair making me cold. i wish you could come up behind me and wrap me up in your warm arms. i wish that i could just have one touch, just one. maybe just touch your face, or your hand. if i could have that one indulgence i would be so much happier. i wish that you could be here to kiss away the tears that i shed because i cant have that one little thing. i wish that you could see my face when you give me a kiss. i dont know why it has to be so hard. i just dont understand. ive thought of so many reasons why it has to be like this but none of them do it any justice. sometimes i wonder if we are ever thinking about eachother, maybe a memory, or a long lost kiss, at the same exact moment. maybe we do it all the time, and we dont know it. maybe we are so connected that our lives are intertwined no matter how many miles we are apart. i wish that just someone knew how much we love eachother, and how strong we are. just one person to talk to, to know our story. we are only together in my dreams. i dream about you being here, and us cuddling. i dream about us living together, and being happy. if i could have one wish it would be to have you here with me. no matter what is going on outside of us, i would be in utter bliss, pure happiness if i could just be in your arms and hear you whisper i love you in my ear. you are my hero, my muse, my dream boy, my inspiration for life. everytime i say i love you, this is what i want you to hear. all of this. its what it means.

its 11:21,...it will be the year 2006 in 39 minutes. well lets see whats happened,..um joseph and i"s fifteen months, and still strong even though hes so far away. christmas was fun, got to eat alot. the day after christmas i got some cool deals on things. and now new years eve. my grandma died about 2 hours ago. im sad. she lives in hawaii, but she used to live here. i miss her allready. didnt get to go out because i have to work in the morning, but im glad i didnt considering what happened. my new years resolution is to lose weight,..and actually do it this time. maybe slim fast?

my birthday was a few days ago. it was really fun. we went to the santa monica boardwalk and venice beach. it was awesome. i cant believe im 18!~its so wierd. i miss my boyfriend alot. i missed seeing him on my birthday. christmas is coming!! yay! im excited. yay!

my birthday is coming!! its on saturday and me and my homies are going to the santa monica boardwalk and venice beach! its going to be really fun. im soooo sick right now though. i have to go to work for a really long time and i dont know if im gonna last. i cant believe im going to be 18 in three days. its so wierd,..my last few days as i minor and my first few days as an adult. wierd! i love you joseph! mwah. i dont want to be sick anymore. blah!!

ive been going crazy over getting all my christmas presents done. im just about done allready. im proud of myself. i even have wrapped them all too! im going to be 18 in lest than two weeks. im nervous. my friend turned 18 yesterday and she got a tattoo. its really pretty. i cant believe im considered an adult soon. its scary. ahh! things are going allright. my boyfriend and i are still more in love than ever. we have been through some tough times and we have gotten through so many obstacles. i love him so much. i love hanging out with my friends. they make me smile. they give me something to look forward to everyday. i feel so much xmas spirit its insane. im being so generous this year, its making me feel good about myself, even though i know that not how its supposed to be. im tired its time to go to bed, goodnight all!

marine biology: 1st period; 8:48, green sea turtle project: katie and i are on a mission, to make a fantabulous awesome green sea turtle presentation. while we sit here on the computers checking our emails, looking up our horoscopes and reading email, we wonder how our paper mache turtle pinata is going to look. mr wilson is on our right, looking up random stuff about 80s band probably. we text message, and look at cute turtle pictures together. we laugh at the mating turtles that look like they are struggling. we feel bad for our mistakes. life goes on. joseph is text messaging me,..hes a cutie pie. i made him a poem about his cute wittle booty. i think i shall sing him the booty song some day. 1st period is almost over. too bad, well sea turtles will have to wait till the morrow where we shall sit in sorrow because mario is annoying. i love to rhyme hehe. yay!

ello ello, my trip to philly was a blast. i got to be with my beloved joseph, and it made me so happy. i got to cuddle and kiss him and just be in his arms. it was marvelous. i love him so much, and the trip just solidified how much i really love him and want to be with him. i got sick, which sucked really bad but im almost better. i dont want to go to school tomorrow, bleh. i went to santa barbara today and got some cool new purses! YAY! i love new purses, and some new shoes. i love new shoes too hehe. i had lots of fun, katie and i took pictures and got to hold snakes!! there were these guys downtown that were letting people hold them and he put them on us,,...it was wierd. i love santa barbara, i miss living down there. anyways, so things are good i guess. yay!

im finally in philly with my love. im happy. its really pretty here and the philly cheese steaks are incredible. ive been spendinf every second with my lovar, we have been having fun. we are in the library right now at school, today we are going to go to this bodyworks museum where it shows real bodies with the muscles on them and stuff. kinda gross, but it will be an experience. i miss my doggies. its so green and wet here, there are such bog houses and lots of eagles fans. its been raining alot and its very cold. its sunny today and it makes me smile. i dont feel good though, i have a sore throat. time for lunch! mmm

so its october 11 and the 22nd is almost here. the day i get to fly across the country to see my beloved joseph. im excited. i cant wait. i really really really cant wait. i have taken up the concept of marking the days off on my calendar, and tearing paper loops off a chain untill the day comes. i miss him so much. i cant wait to see him. i am going to have soo much fun. its going to be awesome. im scared to fly alone, but theres little i wouldnt do to see him. we only have a three day week this week so im excited. and i get thursday and friday off from work! SWEET!!! im super stoked. i cant wait! so basically im doing well and having lots of fun. im just excited for everything.

its finally october! the month that i get to see my boyfriend for the first time in three months!! i cant wait to see him!! only 22 more days untill i get to leave. im so excited. i miss him so much. halloween is coming and im not sure what i want to be. things are changing around here, everyone is growing up, its scary and fun at the same time. tonight i went thrift store shopping with jessica, and katie. it was lots of fun, just like old times. its been so hot! i got some cool stuff. they opened a new thrift store downtown, its not that good yet but i think it will be. then we came home and ate and ate. we always eat so much together! then we went to starbucks and got cheap drinks from emily, and free icecream at baskin robbins from erin. that was fun, im soo full and its been a long time since then. we went to the movie store and got this movie called the jacket. we watched it at emily's house and my house. it was really trippy, it was allright, but sort of confusing. then i got into a cleaning spree and ive been cleaning my room for the last 2 hours. it looks really nice. im happy i did it. tomorrow i dont know what im going to do, i want to just relax since its my day off. so i dont know. jess and i are closer now that we talked about stuff, it makes me happy. ive been really excited and anxious lately cuz i know there is a whole world out there waiting for me, and the best part is that im going to be able to experience it with the person i love more than anything. im so happy because i always have something to look forward to. i love joseph so much. i hate homework on weekends. what the fuck is that?? my new puppy is cute. shes got a pot belly though. hehehe. this month is going to be awesome, i cant wait!

its joseph's and i's one year anniversary. i cant believe it,..one whole year. its been the best year of my life. i love him more than anything. he means so much to me. im baffled that we have still been able to get through this, and having to deal with him being far away. i still fall more in love with him everyday despite the distance and our quarrals. i miss him so much. i cant wait to be with him forever.

i am so stressed out. if im not working, doing homework, or going to school, i have to make time for my friends, and my family, and the boyfriend of mine that lives across the country. i have to think about college right now, and scholarships and all that shit too. joseph and i constantly fight but constantly stay in love, my friends are as stressed out as i am. homework sucks, and i have some really stupid teachers. homework seems so pointless. for the amount of stress i make about work, i feel like i should be getting paid twice as much. my mom yells at me because i dont watch my sister enough, which is bullshit since when am i supposed to do that when im gone all the time? i miss the old days when things were easy, i had my boyfriend with me, and i didnt work. the perfect duo. i cry randomly because of everything.