i'm not really angry with her being here. i'm just annoyed. when rey goes away i like the house to myself. it's mine right then. me and the dog. and of course i come home and here she is with her sister lounging on the couch. living here. but. not living here. when rey goes away i don't have to listen to them fucking or her annoying cackle laugh that's louder then any annoying jack hammer i've ever heard. i don't have to hear her whiney voice. and i can do as i please. and relax. that's all i wanted. i've never wanted to be alone so much before. and of course. i couldn't have it. and i don't care if they heard me when i came in..."seriously can't i be alone for five fucking minutes." i meant it. i still do. now i'll have to relax in my room and ignore them for as long as possible. i can only imagine she'll be fucking sleeping here tonight. GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you still have one. so go there. bitch doesn't pay shit here. i pay 550 in rent and then for internet i can't use which he says he pays every month but i distinctly remember paying it twice in a row. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! i want out of this town. i want away. i want to forget everything i've done here and everyone i've met. i want OUT. i'm annoyed. and it's building up. i want a fucking drink so bad it's aching and i know this feeling. i know it so fucking well. i know i'm going to walk to that store and get a bottle. sure. i'll talk myself out of it on the way there. but. i'll get it anyway. damnit. i can't. but. i WANT it. ------------------------- today wasn't even really a bad day. minus the fact i'm trapped in a job i can already predict me quitting soon. and a town i hate. in a house i can't stand anymore. trying to forget people that i don't really like right now. i just wanted to have the house to myself this weekend. rey's gone. i don't get these times very much now. i don't get to relax and kick it all by myself. alone. there's always someone here. someone CACKLING or WHINING in the next room. or the boy's here. don't get me wrong i love drew. but. just one fucking weekend alone. ---------------------------------- i'm annoyed because i want a reason to drink. i want that perfect reason to stomp down to the store and get my fix. maybe i need a nap. maybe that'll do it. -------------------------- AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!