I guess i don't really mind reading about myself... but... i think i get mader at stuff that's written "about" me instead of "to" me... so... i will write to u from now on... I understand why u did that today... and i'm not mad... it wasn't ur idea to bring me in there from buisness law... i don't have any idea why i would be mad at you for something i know u didn't do...and... well... u did kinda put me on the spot... but there was just so much that u were talking about... i couldn't keep my head from spinning... basically... i can take one thing at a time... but... we only had 30 min. so i completely understand why we had to do it the way we did. "... it just that you say that you need me to be able to open up but i need the same thing.."... I know!!! i wish u knew how much i want to tell u how i am feeling... I really can't tell sumtimes... i am not lieing!!! okay?? i really need u to understand that i don't understand my self most of the time.. please beleive.. i'm not just telling u that i don't know how i feel cuz i don't want to tell u... i mean... i understand that u want to know... so.. not only do i take that into consideration..(when i know how i'm feeling).. but i wonder how u will react sometimes.. but.. in the end... if i know how i feel..i tell u and hope u can understand.. ... i don't mean to be so whiny about cindy... i just can't stand her sometimes...i feel like... she is not my mom... so why should i do what she tells me?? i would much rather have my dad tell me what to do.. and u know what.. i would be perfectly happy if my dad did tell me to do something in stead of her.. "sometimes i know that you want to say somthing to me and you dont. i wish that you would though."... well... it seems like.. i want to say something.. but.. it's like.. i don't know how to say it.. or what to say... today... i didn't even know what was going on in my head and i was drwing blanks... .........i hope this helped explain stuff... we should figure out a way to get sasha out of class like once a week so we can talk... maybe for more than 30 minutes if that is possible... ...write back