What I'm Listening To: Music from Animal Crossing (the DS game) -- Allan is playing it at the moment :) Oh my god...it's been over a year since I've done an entry in here. Heh. Crazy. To think how much things have changed since then...I don't even know where to start really. I suppose from the beginning would do. The last entry was of October 2004. I'd say about a week or 2 after doing that entry, we moved out of my grandmother's house. Her & my mom got into a fight about something really stupid (then again, everything they fought about was stupid...so that doesn't really matter) & so we packed our stuff up & left. We had nowhere to go so we ended up staying in a hotel for a few weeks (LOTS OF FUN! not really) & then with my brother's dad for a few days until we could get an apartment. So for about a month we were just kind of there...the first week of November is when we moved into the apartment. It was still in Denton. Blah. So things were good because we were finally out of that hell, or they seemed to be. Of course, things went back to being horrible... During this time Allan & I continued to talk; we got to be really good friends...but of course I still liked him so it made things kind of hard. I had invited him to stay w/me over Christmas but he was working & such so it wasn't going to happen. Instead he decided to come stay w/me for a few weeks in March. He ended up coming over on his birthday (Feb 27th). By the time he came over the 2nd time, things weren't great but they hadn't fallen apart...it was still bearable. Turns out old feelings resurfaced & then we really didn't know what the fuck to do. Everything was up in the air. Obviously, I had hurt him before & he didn't want to risk that again...and with living so far apart...it's hard to make a relationship work. So when he left he promised to come back & stay for 3 months (the longest he could stay on his visa) to see what would happen between us. Not too long after he left things got really bad, my mom started acting different...and money was disappearing & such, like we never had anything. We started arguing more & I was just really unhappy. I was babysitting Bryan all the time, I wasn't going out at all...I had absolutely no life. I slowly was sinking deeper & deeper into depression. So in June Allan comes back to stay until september, well it took a few weeks until him & I got back together (officially). Things were a little bit better with me & my mom, but not much...she was putting on a show for him. It didn't take long before that wore off. She was being a total bitch for no reason, other than she wanted to be I guess. She had started taking more & more pills, like all of the money from her paychecks was being spent on doctors & prescriptions. She couldn't even afford to pay rent. She ended up asking Allan for the money to pay rent so we didn't get avicted. Obviously, things aren't going well...and they continue to get worse. Her & I argued constantly...and it was making Allan uncomfortable because he's staying here & having to deal with this. I felt horrible because I would try to be nice to her but she would just turn around & be shitty. Well, a month & a half into Allan's trip he invited me back to England with him. Of course I said yes. My relationship with him was the only good relationship I had with anyone at that time & I didn't want to lose that, plus you know...we'd get to spend more time together & I'd get to go to England. That's a chance of a lifetime. Well, the next day I told my mom that I was going back with Allan & she freaked out. She went off & started telling me that I was making the biggest mistake of my life, that I was being selfish & stupid...telling me that I'm a horrible person because of this. Last time I checked, I'm considered an adult now...I can do whatever. Plus, I've known him long enough to know that he would take care of me. So it didn't go down well with her. In the middle of all of this, my dad & I started talking again. It had been over a year since we'd talked. Back in March I found out that him & his wife Leslie had a baby together back in December of last year. I was upset because everyone else had known but me. For some strange reason, something kept telling me to call him...and so I did. Just so happened that he was in Denton the day that I called so I went & saw him. That didn't go down well with Mom either. (I just couldn't do anything right!) So after Mom went off, I ended up talking to him & telling him the situation. Him & Leslie took us out to dinner one evening to meet Allan, which was cool. We had a good time & everyone got along. The plan was that they had invited us up to their house (they live in Waurika, Oklahoma) for Labor Day weekend. Well, Allan & I were trying to get stuff together for me to fly back with him September 8th. We were having some trouble getting the passport because Mom wouldn't let me use the car anymore...so they ended up inviting us up during the week to get the passport. They had their little connections so I would have my passport in a week instead of having to wait 3 weeks or more & not able to fly with Allan. So we went to Waurika, originally just to stay for a few days...we ended up staying there the rest of the time (which was about a month). One day Leslie took us down to the apartment to get our stuff out. Mom happened to be gone, so we just got our stuff & left. We never went back. Before we left the apartment, things were so bad that Mom & Bryan would get up in the morning & leave, then stay gone until midnight, then go to bed. We had no food whatsoever. Allan & I were having to walk either to fast food places around there or to the grocery store just to get bare necessities. The last few days of us being there Mom & Bryan had stayed gone...didn't go back to the apartment at all. Mom had quit her job, or was drawing unemployment. Who the hell knows. She changed her story several times. She said that she lost her job because of me. I had been sick & was supposed to have surgery, well she had scheduled a few days off to be with me...well the surgery was cancelled & she just never went back. Thankfully the surgery didn't happen, turns out all that hurting was caused from stress. About 2 weeks after getting in Oklahoma, it went away completely. Things were great while we stayed with Dad & Leslie. They took really good care of us. It's a nice little town, very little...but nice. It's so much better than Denton. I don't mind going back there. September 8th, we were taken to DFW Airport & we were on our way to the UK. This was my first time ever to fly, which surprisingly I wasn't that nervous. I enjoyed it. The first flight lasted about 3 1/2 hours, that was to Newark, NJ. The 2nd flight was 6 hours, that was to Manchester, England. We got to Manchester safe & sound (on September 9th) & have been here ever since. I was supposed to leave December 4th but when I went through immigration, I was told that I could stay for 6 months. We got my ticket changed about a month ago, so now I go back to Okie on March 5th. Things have been wonderful here, I've had such an amazing time. I feel so at home here. It's perfect :) Allan's family have been great to me & of course, we're still together...7 months now! (my longest relationship EVER!) We've been to a few places & everything. Like I said, it's all amazing! For pictures & blogs go here: http://spaces.msn.com/members/branstuff46 So that's been my life for the past year. lol. A lot has changed, that's for sure. This has been the worst & best year of my life. Things have worked out for me in the end. This is the first time in a really long time that I'm able to say I'm truly happy. It's a great feeling. I'm glad that I stuck things out because it really was worth the wait. Well, I'll go for now. Sorry it's so long, it's a lot to read...HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!!!! xoxoxoxo *Brandi*