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today i went to the Cairo zoo in egypt with my husband and it was soooo fun, i had so many pics taken with lots of animals and i got to meet an online friend and they seemed to like each other pretty well. i even got to eat at mcdonalds, first time ever since i came here almost 3 months ago. i leave in roughly 10 days i think....i dunno and i will miss my husband so much. we havent been fighting as much lately maybe cuz we both know that our time together is drawing near an end :( ....i will miss everything about him. today was sooo nice and fun i will never forget this day...and yesterday too.

alright so nov 14th was my brothers bday, hes 22 now. miss him so much. i went to mansoura i had a good time and a bad time. now i just wana go back home to canada im going insane here

going to mansoura in an hr or less or 2. i will be staying there for a few days meeting his HUGE family finally and im soooo nervous even his uncle from usa will be there

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the wedding party was nice, took alot of pics last night and i even shared my first slow dance with Ahmed, although it only lasted like 1 min cuz he didnt want to at first but he did cuz he saw that i was sad from it. anyways his mother wants us to go to the city Mansoura here in Egypt to meet his family cuz his uncle from the states is coming there today for a funeral. so i think i will go, this might be my last chance to meet them all and actually go somewhere with Ahmed other than the Net Cafe cuz he never takes me out lol today i was supposed to go with his sister Aml to her college for 2 or 3 hrs but the men at the gate wouldn't let us in cuz their policy states no foreigners....we think thats soooooo stupid!!! so Aml arranged for a taxi to take me home. i just spent my time at home hanging with Ashraf to the store, cooking and eating with him and watching some tv then i slept thats all lol. ok so gtg.

me and my husband are going to his friends wedding party i hope it'll be fun, gotta get ready now later.

Last night i had bad dreams. i dreamt that my family and me were driving around shopping and me and my mom got out. My grandpa Frank was being stupid about finding a place to park then he crashed and flew head first into some big truck, but he was ok afterwards i think. Another thing that happened was, i was on a bus going to some place (not alot of people) and some girl on the bus started having an athsma attack, she didnt have her puffer, but i forgot how it ended. i strangely even remember my mom going to the corner store with me. she only had $40 and she wanted to buy a snack. she was so guarded with her money for what she spend that she only got a drink. she wanted to save the money. but when she got to the counter the man asked if she wanted juice or something but she said no without any hesitation. then he said ok and pointed to the glass area on his counter if she wanted any lotto tickets. my mom thought for a minute then said "ok give me two $15". i was so surprised. so thats what happened. i think i have a problem about my mom and everything. i keep having dreams about death and other people's problems. like i said before, some of them are disturbing cuz i dont like to see things like this happen to people. Bad things, sometimes i',m even the one having...i mean doing bad stuff. what i told you last night is only what i can remember, we all can't remember everything. Hmmm, maybe i do need to see a shrink.

i miss my mommy lol ...and evelyn, i cried about it so much tonight and i called her. will be my last call til i'm back to the sweet land. lady downstairs at home hung herself and my brother walked in and saw her hanging here. i think he freaked out, i know i would and cry. im sad for this. moms putting money in my visa account soon. i cant wait to go home, im changing so much, its almost like im a different person now.

my husband is being an ASS right now, just thought i'd point that out at this moment. thanks.

yey!!!! my husband is going to make ur marriage legal soon after he comes back from Czech Republic next week. im the happiest person alive, plz dont wake me lol

ok so my husband was supposed to leave for Czech Republic a few days ago but hes not able to find a ticket until a few days from now. he will be leaving for 4 days or a week and i will be so lonely without him, probably cry. i love him so much and hes the reason im here. im only here for 33 days left awww i will try to cherish every moment i have with him now until i leave cuz i know i will miss everything especially him when i go back to Canada.... man, life isnt fair sometimes. oh yea and Claire keeps trying to call me without any success, must be a connection problem. she said she will help me when i go back to Canada to get back on my feet since i left everything to be here in Egypt. my other friend Zaneta (the one that got fired) is also doing great, she has a nice paying job working as an Assistant Manager at a shoe store. Apparently its making her alot of money....and we all love money! lol so yea im happy for her.... and she went out drinking and partying with my other work friend to celebrate her Bday, wish i was there i know i would have had tons of fun! oh and i went shopping to Port Said with my husbands family. his mom is soooo sweet, she bought me a nice pink Espirit shirt and 2 other nice shirts ...along with 4 awesome undies! so cool. i love shopping. i have so much to bring home lol i duno wht else to say, i just wish my mom or something would call me i miss to hear from anyone back at home. well i should get going now.

alright, my life officially sucks now lol lst night i told my husband that i wanted to go back to Canada...it really hurt me to say it and it even surprised me probably as much as it surprised him to hear these words come out my mouth... i still duno if i should go back or even when i should, he doesnt seem bothered about it today. he just asked ok so when do you wana go back?, not the reaction i was expecting...shows alot about him. anyways, im still waiting for a call from my friend Claire. the last time i chatted to her she was telling me that she has a new job as a Tv Host now...wow! im so happy and excited for her, i really am. shes just a great person to me and i hope everything works out, i know she will be successful in anything she chooses to do. also i've been thinking alot lately... my friends Bashar and Adil and many others have been talking to me seriously about some issues that im having in my life and even offered advice and a swift kick in the ass advice....maybe i need it, maybe im just crazy afer all. well i have to get going i will fill you in more about the things i wanted to say later. cuz i need to spend time with my husband and get ready to leave. im still thinking if i should go with my husbands family to a city here in Egypt that specializes in clothes called Port Said, after all i love shopping and i need to go out BUT theres many things that i have to think about and take under consideration before going. i have issues.

hey im having a very bad time here and i really need someone to talk to....but theres no one for me...i feel so alone and i hate my life.. and im still so worried for my friend Zaneta, its been a long time since i heard from her

im so thankful to have a friend like Claire, so i would like to take this time to talk about her, my friend and what makes her so special. well first of all, shes always down to do anything i want all the time and she works very hard to make everyone happy....whether it be her co-workers, friends or family she is always there for everyone. last summer was the best for me and her cuz we were always out having fun and partying and doing things that "anything goes", thanks to her and myself we had a great, unforgettable summer. i realize that there are true friends like her out there, and i've even come to know and see it in her sister, i'm close to them both. i'm so privaliged to have and know these kinds of friends where i live. the kind that stick with you through thick and thin and who would do anything in this world for you. thats what true friendship is all about, love. just a few days ago Claire even put $121 in my bank for me cuz i need help for my finacial needs back at home...(my credit card) and of course i will pay her back fully when i return home. shes a true friend to do that for me and i'm forever thankful for her kindness and generousity towards me. I LOVE YOU CLAIRE

yesterday when i was chatting to my old work friend (Gina), she was telling me that Z got fired from work....i keep thinking about it...OH MY GOD its very surprising and im soooo sad for her. i bet she cried from losing this job, it was everything to her. i know i would cry like a baby.

alright so last night i went shopping with his mom and 2 sisters....it was fun! his mom bought me many things...she got me any food that i wanted and we looked in many stores to try to find me something. being the fussing person i am, it took me nearly 2hrs to finally find something. i found a nice pink tank with super sweet bead-work but i think i would wear it to bed in Canada cuz its kinda long, but i love it so much! lol awww his mom is soo sweet, everyone is. so we went shopping and i came back home and i saw my husband outside when i was getting something to eat from the shops and so he stayed with me until i finished getting the food and drink (my special juice). thats basically what i did last night. im always bored here 24/7...i swear im losing my mind, next time i come to Egypt i will bring a friend with me so that i will less insane. hahaha i wish i had privacy with my husband and that we spend more time together, it makes me angry everyday lol

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||| 60% Stability |||||||||||| 46% Orderliness |||||||||||| 46% Accommodation |||||||||||| 50% Interdependence |||||||||||||||||| 76% Intellectual |||||||||||||| 56% Mystical |||||| 30% Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Religious |||||||||| 36% Hedonism |||| 16% Materialism |||||||||||||| 56% Narcissism |||||||||||||| 56% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||| 76% Work ethic |||||||||||||||| 70% Self absorbed |||||||||||||||||| 76% Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 50% Need to dominate |||||||||||||| 56% Romantic |||||||||||||||||| 76% Avoidant |||||||||| 36% Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 63% Wealth |||||||||| 36% Dependency |||||||||||||| 56% Change averse |||||||||||||| 56% Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 70% Individuality |||||||||||||||| 63% Sexuality |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Peter pan complex |||||||||||||| 56% Physical security |||||||||| 36% Physical Fitness |||||||||||||| 57% Histrionic |||||||||||||||||| 76% Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 70% Vanity |||||||||||||||| 70% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 70% Female cliche |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com

So this is what happened last night. After i was done writing, me and my husband ended up play fighting but i didnt like it cuz it was starting to hurt cuz he's a man so it's only natural that he's stronger than me. But anyways i dont mind being silly but i wasnt in the mood and i was angry cuz he just wouldn't stop and he thought it was funny but not me. So i kinda lost top and flipped out inside my mind and just walked out the house but his sib's tried to get me back in. i was just hiding behind some wall... for like 30 mins or 45 mins. so i came back and watched my DVD player for a little over an hr. Then i told him that i was going to the net cafe but he told me to wait for him cuz he wanted to come, needless to say i didn't wait. we were both mad but in the end we worked it out when i got back and then we went to the store and came back home. We just sat around home. Then at around 11:45pm i noticed that my husband was sleeping in the next room... i came in there to talk and be with him but he was sleeping so i felt sad about that and many things so i started crying, i dunno why i just couldn't help it then i tried not to cry cuz his mom came in the room and she was talking to me but of course she was speaking Arabic so i didn't know what she was telling me. So then his English-knowing sister Aml came in the room and they were talking and they said something to Ahmed, they all said something fast to each other then Ahmed got up and said "take my hand and come with my into the next room with me" so i came unknowingly. His twin sib's were sleeping in the bed beside us in the room and he asked me what was wrong cuz he said that he seen me cry but i told him that i didn't wana talk about it but he seemed very persistant. i kept saying the same thing then i said "ok i'll tell you when we have privacy, when we're alone once in this life" and i walked out the room back to where his mother and Aml were sitting. I must have looked upset cuz his mom sent Aml to say something to Ahmed. She kept going back and forth between rooms. So finally i couldn't take what was going on inside me so i went into the bathroom to use it and cry. While i was in there i heard Aml saying Arabic to the twins in the room. i think she told them to leave for me but Aya (the girl twin) was upset and crying and they left in a room to sleep cuz it was pretty late. i knew their mom and Aml did that for me cuz i was upset. I was scared to come out the washroom cuz i didn't wana make any problems and i didn't want anyone to hate or be mad at me. But i think that no one knows what it's like to be me. Then i went into the room quietly and layed next to him alone. of course he was very concerned and he wouldn't stop hugging me and asking what was wrong. so i tried not to cry and i was holding them in and i finally, eventually told him cuz he's so sweet. He was saying that everything about me is important to him and i told him the same thing. i also said when i told him why i cried is because he's so important to me and everything about him. But he didn't understand, i wasn't making myself clear. i said he's the only reason why i'm here and that everything is so different and not easy, being here is the hardest thing i've ever had to do cuz i'm seeing thing, doing things, and experiencing things i've never done before but i'm doing all this only for him cuz i love him and it's very important to him, he's the only reason why i'm here. Whatever is important to him means alot to me cuz it's a part of him. It's why i fell in love with him, well one of them. I was crying cuz its so hard and i just need him to be there for me all the time, anytime i need him. But thats a problem too cuz we're never alone cuz hes a family guy. i can't just tell him to tell his family to go away cuz its not right. i'm so thankful for them so it's like i'm stuck. i can't do anything about it. Thats another reason why i was crying. When it comes down to it, i love him. During this Ramadan i'm beginning to feel things...Love, and Respect....for my husband and living. i can't touch my husband when the sun is up... so far its been going ok with that cuz i have so much respect for him than just sex and i feel like this is proving it for the both of us. Because of this, i'm feeling a greater kind of love i've never experienced before. i feel like our love is so real and sacred that we only share. I think me and him are really special, i can feel it. The last time we made love i swear i felt ir and it was so sweet and cute. He's like an angel. i wana be with him forever and i know he does too cuz he told me, so we will be together forever sharing our love body and spirit cuz he's my angel and i can't believe i found a man like this cuz he's truely amazing and more than i ever expected in my dreams. He's better than my dreams and i love him so much. i'm so thankful just to even know him Anyways so that's what happened last night. We talked for a long time and made love. Then we sat around watching Tv and hanging out. Then my friend from Qatar called me so i was very very surprised. His name is Aziz and he's my best friend. i have many best friends, he's just one of them. So we talked for a moment but he called back a moment later cuz his phone credits finished. When he called back my husband sat beside me. Aziz said that he didn't work in Qatar anymore and that he'll be going to Canada soon so i was so extremely happy to hear this great news. So we talked for like almost 10 mins but his phone credits died. But lucky me he said that he'll send an email to me explaining the details. Wow i'm so happy. I get to finally meet my best friend Aziz in Canada! I'll be watching for his email. After i got off the phone my husband looked bummed out about something so i hugged him and asked what was wrong. He said that he was just thinking about everything, like friends, work, family, karate, travelling, everything. SO i hugged and kissed him and we fell asleep holding each other. Awww being in love is so sweet, i love being in love. so we woke up a while later (3:30am) to eat our last meal before we fast again. We ate with his family. i shared some jokes with them, we brushed our teeth, he prayed and he had to wait to pray again because he had to wait for the call from the mosque. it wa fine by me but i wanted to give him one last kiss but i couldn't so i kissed his head and left into the room to wait for him. i played a game on my phone. so i went to get him 30-45 mins later and we were sleeping by 5am. i love sleeping in his hug, it makes me feel safe and complete. it's a cute feeling like this is where i should be forever. He's never enough when we sleep close together, feeling him breathe and his heartbeat. i forget everything in the world.