So this is what happened last night. After i was done writing, me and my husband ended up play fighting but i didnt like it cuz it was starting to hurt cuz he's a man so it's only natural that he's stronger than me. But anyways i dont mind being silly but i wasnt in the mood and i was angry cuz he just wouldn't stop and he thought it was funny but not me. So i kinda lost top and flipped out inside my mind and just walked out the house but his sib's tried to get me back in. i was just hiding behind some wall... for like 30 mins or 45 mins. so i came back and watched my DVD player for a little over an hr. Then i told him that i was going to the net cafe but he told me to wait for him cuz he wanted to come, needless to say i didn't wait. we were both mad but in the end we worked it out when i got back and then we went to the store and came back home. We just sat around home. Then at around 11:45pm i noticed that my husband was sleeping in the next room... i came in there to talk and be with him but he was sleeping so i felt sad about that and many things so i started crying, i dunno why i just couldn't help it then i tried not to cry cuz his mom came in the room and she was talking to me but of course she was speaking Arabic so i didn't know what she was telling me. So then his English-knowing sister Aml came in the room and they were talking and they said something to Ahmed, they all said something fast to each other then Ahmed got up and said "take my hand and come with my into the next room with me" so i came unknowingly. His twin sib's were sleeping in the bed beside us in the room and he asked me what was wrong cuz he said that he seen me cry but i told him that i didn't wana talk about it but he seemed very persistant. i kept saying the same thing then i said "ok i'll tell you when we have privacy, when we're alone once in this life" and i walked out the room back to where his mother and Aml were sitting. I must have looked upset cuz his mom sent Aml to say something to Ahmed. She kept going back and forth between rooms. So finally i couldn't take what was going on inside me so i went into the bathroom to use it and cry. While i was in there i heard Aml saying Arabic to the twins in the room. i think she told them to leave for me but Aya (the girl twin) was upset and crying and they left in a room to sleep cuz it was pretty late. i knew their mom and Aml did that for me cuz i was upset. I was scared to come out the washroom cuz i didn't wana make any problems and i didn't want anyone to hate or be mad at me. But i think that no one knows what it's like to be me. Then i went into the room quietly and layed next to him alone. of course he was very concerned and he wouldn't stop hugging me and asking what was wrong. so i tried not to cry and i was holding them in and i finally, eventually told him cuz he's so sweet. He was saying that everything about me is important to him and i told him the same thing. i also said when i told him why i cried is because he's so important to me and everything about him. But he didn't understand, i wasn't making myself clear. i said he's the only reason why i'm here and that everything is so different and not easy, being here is the hardest thing i've ever had to do cuz i'm seeing thing, doing things, and experiencing things i've never done before but i'm doing all this only for him cuz i love him and it's very important to him, he's the only reason why i'm here. Whatever is important to him means alot to me cuz it's a part of him. It's why i fell in love with him, well one of them. I was crying cuz its so hard and i just need him to be there for me all the time, anytime i need him. But thats a problem too cuz we're never alone cuz hes a family guy. i can't just tell him to tell his family to go away cuz its not right. i'm so thankful for them so it's like i'm stuck. i can't do anything about it. Thats another reason why i was crying. When it comes down to it, i love him. During this Ramadan i'm beginning to feel things...Love, and Respect....for my husband and living. i can't touch my husband when the sun is up... so far its been going ok with that cuz i have so much respect for him than just sex and i feel like this is proving it for the both of us. Because of this, i'm feeling a greater kind of love i've never experienced before. i feel like our love is so real and sacred that we only share. I think me and him are really special, i can feel it. The last time we made love i swear i felt ir and it was so sweet and cute. He's like an angel. i wana be with him forever and i know he does too cuz he told me, so we will be together forever sharing our love body and spirit cuz he's my angel and i can't believe i found a man like this cuz he's truely amazing and more than i ever expected in my dreams. He's better than my dreams and i love him so much. i'm so thankful just to even know him Anyways so that's what happened last night. We talked for a long time and made love. Then we sat around watching Tv and hanging out. Then my friend from Qatar called me so i was very very surprised. His name is Aziz and he's my best friend. i have many best friends, he's just one of them. So we talked for a moment but he called back a moment later cuz his phone credits finished. When he called back my husband sat beside me. Aziz said that he didn't work in Qatar anymore and that he'll be going to Canada soon so i was so extremely happy to hear this great news. So we talked for like almost 10 mins but his phone credits died. But lucky me he said that he'll send an email to me explaining the details. Wow i'm so happy. I get to finally meet my best friend Aziz in Canada! I'll be watching for his email. After i got off the phone my husband looked bummed out about something so i hugged him and asked what was wrong. He said that he was just thinking about everything, like friends, work, family, karate, travelling, everything. SO i hugged and kissed him and we fell asleep holding each other. Awww being in love is so sweet, i love being in love. so we woke up a while later (3:30am) to eat our last meal before we fast again. We ate with his family. i shared some jokes with them, we brushed our teeth, he prayed and he had to wait to pray again because he had to wait for the call from the mosque. it wa fine by me but i wanted to give him one last kiss but i couldn't so i kissed his head and left into the room to wait for him. i played a game on my phone. so i went to get him 30-45 mins later and we were sleeping by 5am. i love sleeping in his hug, it makes me feel safe and complete. it's a cute feeling like this is where i should be forever. He's never enough when we sleep close together, feeling him breathe and his heartbeat. i forget everything in the world.