Left alone in the gaping open silence of a thousand unsaid words, drowning in the torment of all the things you kept from me. Staring at the ceiling watching swirling crimson flows. You never said I love you, and that made me love you more. How many times do I have to apologise for something I never did? How many lies are in your network, your webwork. Leave them above the headboard of a bed we never laid in. Make a mockery of my sadness, the person killing me is the only person who has ever brought me back to life. I can't hide in your shadow anymore, I can't use your shoulder as a headrest. Your shirt won't have to absorb my tears any longer, soaked to the bone and shivering, I can't use you like that anymore. Friends don't let friends fall in love. Erupting from fire left sputtering from tears, the things you should've told me are all hidden behind your eyes. Take deep breaths strewn with sorrow, and remind me, please just remind me, why I'm still alive.