My 18th birthday. Possibly one of the shittiest days of my life. Probably due to numerous expectations: That i will be, for some reason, remotely happy today; That i would actually get to spend some time out of school with my girlfriend; That said girlfriend's mother would show some sort of fucking humanity... Essentialy, that i will feel good. Why would anybody do this to themselves? It's illogical. Hopeless faith, hope without hope. It's fucking stupid. I'm angry at nobody but myself. The things that are beyond my power, the things that people would normally be angry with, i wanted them to work, wanted and filled myself with a sense of... ah, shut the fuck up.