Untitled

by boy

THIS ISN'T ME

i want to be held. i want to have someone who WANTS to hold me. but why would someone want to do that? HA! i don't give a shit really. i've jst been low, but there's really no purpose in that. SO, wiping tears aside, i am now... volatile? Does it matter? Is this entry gonna be another private one? As you read it now; was it supposed to be private?

Loadsa luvvly garbage for you to try and relate to. I feel like shit. i'm SO fronting. How cliche. How self-critical.

edit: This entry sounds desperately "emo". I'm not really like this. I doubt anything i write here will capture "my essence". Mood swings every 20 seconds don't help much either! If i could keep a consistent theme, it would be far more coherant. Perhaps.

You wish to relate to something? Fine. I am dead inside, my heart has been carved so badly it can barely function any longer. There, there's your goddamn analogy. In reality, as i sit here with my worn old bracelets, faded pen upon my palms and oh-so-original jeans and t-shirt, i do not believe in "heart carving". I believe in trauma, upset, nostalgia and comfort. I believe in self-improvement and inner beauty.




"i feel like a place where no-one goes any more..."

Read 20 comments
oh cool.? for the ones who go to my shcool that is?
[Anonymous]
cool entry i feel like that. (deathislife)
[Anonymous]
lets do it!
really? wow. awesome. people actually taking my advice. neat-o.

that comment with a comment from me from way back when(god thats confusing) is amusing to me because i notice how i always talk in these fragments.

oh well.

so...was he hot?
No one, to respond to your far away comment. No one.

-Becky.

[Anonymous]
Hehe, yes, I know. Emo. Such a terrible label. But at least emotional things have benefits.
[Anonymous]
thanks for the comment. i did indeed need the luck...more than i knew...

holly
I might of had a pretty background, it's been changed over and over and over again.
And I did vent to someone, well... many people infact, it wasn't an intended vent, but it was a vent none the less.
loveing the darkness, i felt so weak but then i felt so much better and i didnt cry at all after that because i was too scared of myself
[Anonymous]
hey i found your site randomly...but its really scary how much this entry sounds like one of my private entry. theyre almost identical. whooaa
that was the best comment someone have leave, thank u so much, i think u made some sense to my night, thx...
I can't talk about it on my diaries because some combination of my friends read each of my diaries, and I'm too scared to be completely open with them and the current disease of my mind has everything and nothing to do with them. I can't be completely uncensored when dealing with people I know and have to deal with in my 'real life' because I am just too much of a sissy to deal with it all. Okay, sorry for that rambling...
Uhm...do you mind if I add you to my friends list? I don't mind if you say no. But since I read your first entry I find myself being drawn back to read more.
I remeber your other diary, not clocks, the other one... atleast I think that's you... i love your writing
and that's all
[toxicmonkey666]
[Anonymous]
hey...do you have an sn? i like your entry.. i feel the same way. i want to be held. ok well i dont want to go and on but yeah ttyl.
[Anonymous]
No, I am not insane. It was a song...
hey,
thanks...it's appreciated. and woah youre entries are deep...like...really deep. its cool.
xxx
erica
[Anonymous]
you ask what would I do, I wouldnt go to war with Iraq. who crashed into the twin towers, bin ladens men which were from suadi arabia. I may not be mature, but neither is bush, and he's the fuckin president. And I dont give a shit if what I wrote is imature, I dont spend my life trying to be mature
yea i actually need someone to talk to, if u wanna talk ill b there just ask, thx
ITS JUST A FUCKIN SCREEN NAME, AND WHEN I SAID YOUR ALL FAGS I MENT EVERYONE IN HERE IS, BUT ITS NOT LIKE IM HOMOPHOBIC OR ANYTHING JUST JOKIN AROUND.