This is where i get to be completely open about all the bad parts. I started by encrypting it with baffling metaphors, which meant it cuold actually translate to damn near anything, and hence could be applied to a lot of people's lives, which was an interesting thing, but i get bored of the lack of firm feeling. There was nothing that said "i feel this", clearly and deliberately.

Now, i guess i feel more confident in saying what i feel. Recently, i've been feeling a lot of pain that won't go away. I say recently, but i kind of mean for as long as i can remember, but i've normally had it under control. It's never been this bad. So, for the past week i've been taking medication for my sadness. I never wanted to do this, but i know i don't have much of a choice. I can't go on the way i am, i just can't.

Marijuana makes me happy. It stops me thinking so much while i enjoy the giggling high. Unfortunately, it makes me more emotional too, so if i do get thinking, my thought train derails itself and crashes into my emotional stability, knocking tears across my face. Have to go now.