I feel mostly contented with life though deep down i am really sad and hurt. I just found out tonight that I lost my roomate at college i hate being alone, so it's going to be a huge thing for me. I think i'm going to ask my friend lindsey to be my roomate. Idk though i guess we will see how it works out. I'm just really upset about it. Oh and also when i talked to jay about everything being over between us i then said something abotu friends with benfits. and he said he wouldn't mind that as long as it wouldn't get messy, meaing we still could talk to each other as friends. Now as much as i love the sex between the two of us i'm just not sure i can do it. b/c one if he really wants things to work out between him and meg well i don't think he should be cheating on her. And if he is cheating to me that means something is missing in their relationship that he needs to find else where and then he shouldn't be with her. and not only that if i get into a relationship i do not want to cheat on my boyfriend. Plus i'm trying to put aside things with meg, and i dont' want her to give me more of a reason to hate me. I feel i have finally rid myself of the bad karma i had about the situation i'm not trying to make more