Shaking hands, hearts skipping, twisting stomachs. sometimes amazing sometimes deadly. sweat dew dropped palms and shallow breaths. keep quiet or they'll find out. they'll all find out. keep quiet. If we only all had a small box, a river bed, a field with willow trees and butterflies to make us all feel ok. but usually we only have something less free. a cd player, a computer, a piece of paper and a pencil. and sometimes...people have less. alcohol. a needle. even a razorblade. please see exhibit A for answers on why this is. when the body all works together for the same thing, its amazing. most of the time every inch wants something different. lets never sift through those thoughts. let them stay craving attention so it feels like a hive in your head. it has beauty. it has consistency. you can always count on it. people redicule you for never having the answers. your never good enough and your never knowing but in that same kind of fantastic hypocricy you always know, you can just never find the way to say it. and gosh doesnt it just frustrate you when people tell you to try anyway? trying to sort that out is the same as addict stopping cold turkey. its no good. dont try this at home kids. may no one ever understand the mind. its a beautiful thing and changing the complexity just makes it ugly. if you dont think about it, the world is beautiful but when you start to look more closely its more ugly than we can even begin to imagine...