Like a paper weight in my mouth i dont know what to say/where to start. This game we all play is ridiculous. I am so horribly dissatisfied with life. I want MORE. More fun, more fun times where we go "remember that??" "and in that moment we were infitite" Maybe no one is ever completely satisfied with things, but that is my goal. Ive learned now that to be happy is more than i could ask, no one is ever completely happy, life likes to twist and turn and some events turn out not so good. But If i could for one moment be satisfied with what i was doing/who i was with/where i was, i will have reached my personal nirvana. Do you know what its like to dream? Not the fluffy white clouds and the silly little nonsense the subconcious fills your firing electrical impulses with. But the dreams that you KNOW you belong to, you just KNOW in your heart and head that thats what you were meant for, thats what you need to do. And everything else is just pointless, just a journeyman on the way to your goal. When you get so close you can taste it, and then your ripped away so awfully, it takes a piece of your heart with it. Like taking candy from a baby, doll, your crushing my hand and my heart. Stop detroying my own personal journey, just because you've let yours die. People say that you have your whole life to live, you can wait to do it all. FUCK WAITING. Why live a life of unfulfillment just to enjoy your life for not much longer? If you can reach it now, why the hell not??? I hate how things are going. Its like a bad taste in your mouth.