I want to exist. I have to admit it.. Sometimes I'm jealous of her.. not because of her lack of sense of humor... but at least she has a life. and she's pretty. I am too, but not in a so manufactured kind of way. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like if i had stayed in Nicaragua. For sure i wouldnt be so damn lonely.. but now is too late. i wonder what my life will be like in 10 years.. Im so scared.. I hate stupid people. I dont say that out loud, of course, but i do hate stupid fucking people. the world is so wide and full of things.. and now im stuck listening to girls whining about why the Jonas Brothers are dating whats-her-name and stuff. I hate drugs too. Drugs are a waste of life. I wish I could be happy.. How can i be happy?

oh yeah, about my tittle.... i hate routines.