Since finals are going on and I'm grounded theres not a whole bunch of a lot going on, but I decided eh why not update. Lately I've had a lot on my mind, I've let a few people know whats on my mind and uh, I don't think they really thought anything of it. What can you do? I used to keep things all bottled up inside until I burst. As much as it hurt to completely let my guard down it felt amazing to be free and open. Now I think I've gotten a little too open, like I feel as though I must tell everyone exactly how I feel about every little thing. That doesn't mean I always do it...now that I've told a few people things and they didn't seem to care I'll take it down a notch again. As much as I tell myself its hard for me to trust people, I don't think thats true. I almost trust everyone I know pretty well....I guess its that fear if I don't trust them and let them know I'll lose them. Thats my real fear. So I totally said I didn't have much to say but once I start writing it never really does stop. Maybe I still keep too much bottled up? I don't even know, how sad is that? I've figured a lot out since Winter Break but theres still so much. I do know some important things, things I need to get taken care of are already have. Bah, things in my life really aren't this crazy, I over react a whole bunch of a lot...I think. Wow. I really can get started on things can't I. Uh, coffee sounds good..time to go. "and sometimes when your on you are really fuckin' on and your friends they sing along and they love you but the lows are so extreme that good seems fuckin cheap and it teases you for weeks in its absence, but you'll fight and you'll make it through you'll fake it if you have to and you'll show up for with a smile....." Rilo Kiley- A Better Son or Daughter. Gotta love 'em. This is the song I would yell/sing with Maddison, her drunk mother(even sometimes sober,if we were lucky, I love her though), and whom ever else was there at the time...gosh..good times.. I miss them.