I write with fervor. The past five days have been a cathartic release from tensions that since before Seattle have pervaded my worldview. Everything feels so... light. Photography is a big link to answering what impetus causes me to be more carefree yet at the same time more empathetic... and more intelligent around people. I think constantly about what will be the right subject, toying with compositions in my head. Afterall, I've got a photographic memory.. I should utilize it. I've splurged my creativity. Not that I went overboard with bizarreness or "thinking outside of the box" just a genuine reorganization of my thought process. Sculpting with Bubbilicious will do this to your mind. Hehe. It's an amazing feeling to want to ricochet off other people in a discussion. Becoming more aware of what I'm doing with my own art and the purpose behind it is giving me newfound confidence in explaining things that before now would have remained open ended. And that's another thing, I feel more accepting of unanswered questions that I may have known the answers to but would have otherwise been too shy or unrelenting to share. Owen Meany may have a lot to do with this. Why? Of small dimunitive size unmatched by his articulate, piercing voice he believes blindly and strongly. Faith is the basis for everything he does. While I do'nt believe in fate or "fatalistic" attitudes, I feel positive about Owen's faith. Reading his story is inspiring...for me as much as if not more than him inspiring the characters mentioned in the novel. Poor Nikki. Her dog passed away. Gray was so numamamanah during newspaper baiting out the details was hard... and I didn't find out a lot, only enough to make a small "i'm sorry and i hope things turn around for you" card to give her tomorrow. Robbie can be a jerk. I tolerate his sexist jabs and flaming insults against European people... he pushed my tolerance today by blurting out, in front of everybody- editors, writers, designers, the subsitute- "wouldn't Lauren and Gray be a cute couple?" I despise when immaturity spoils a perfectly normal, casual moment and it reverts to a weird kind of shrug your shoulders akwardness. Bleh. Breathe in, breathe out. I ran the mile today! 7:53... 7 seconds under the national average, which is great and means I have to either match my previous time or improve. I drank 3 glasses of iced tea and ate one delicious green apple before hitting the track. With better nutrition I should be able to top my time, no doubt. American University still needs my letter of recommendation. But I don't konw from whom... either Mrs. Hellams or the incompetent guidance office. Ergh! Going to read Billy Collins My Life whilst sipping on green tea. Tonight's menu? Re-creation of mango chicken and curry with jasmine rice= love for my tastebuds.