I lie in bed Awake Staring at the broken ceiling A surge of guilt and fear and worry hits me like a slap across the face It doesn’t want me to sleep It doesn’t want me to get on with my life and forget it all It hits me again But I won’t let it control me I won’t let him control me Not this time. He doesn’t deserve my tears, he doesn’t deserve my thoughts. I tell myself that he never cared That he used me as a poor distraction from his empty life, And that helps me to sleep That helps me to forget. He will not control me as he did before I will And soon he will be all he deserves to be An unwanted memory.