Overall the summer has actually been one of my more active. I took several trips with my best friend, had a lot of good workouts, made some great improvement at work, had trips with family, and though not all positive had quite a few diverse "love life" experiences.

The highs get higher and the lows lower sometimes.

Last weekend I went up to the hills in Sonora to attend a wedding of a high school friend I hadn't seen since graduation. We got her the 12 pack of SPAM on her wedding gift registry- it was so bizarre we had to. After the wedding my friend and I went out drinking at a bar with karaoke. It was… interesting to say the least. Despite the fact that there were plenty of guys in my age range only the above 65 crowd paid me any attention lol. One old guy got brave and grabbed me as he was walking by. I told him that new hips are expensive so he better not try that again! I don’t care if you’re old enough to collect SSI, you don’t touch people without some sort of permission!

Next week I’m headed to Las Vegas with my parents, my brother and his wife and kid, and my sister and her boyfriend. I have never been to Vegas and they all have- I’m super excited. We have tickets to see a Queen Concert and we’re going to see at least one comedy show. I’m a bit bummed I don’t have a plus one to bring- in all honesty I worked really hard to find one but… it didn’t happen.

I thought I had a stalker for a moment. I had told a guy I think we weren’t going to work out and then I blocked him but he got other numbers and called me and tried to contact me through Instagram etc. He said he was going to come to my work and my home and I told him that I would call the police if he did and that I didn’t want to see him. When I finally talked to him again he thought I would appreciate his persistence and he didn’t realize he was scaring me. He thought he was showing that he cared. For a week I was double checking my surroundings and going out as little as possible and I considered telling the guard at my work to look out for him.

I’m no longer spending any time with Malfoy. He asked if I would be okay with our arrangement if he moved in with a girlfriend. After some discussion it became clear that he had been dating this girl the whole time and she did not know about me. Previously we both said that we were each sleeping with one other person where we had the same agreement but apparently his one other person believes them to be in a loving monogamous relationship. The interesting thing is I saw a picture of her: The Girlfriend. She is beautiful, blond, and thin. She is exactly the type of person you would expect to see Malfoy with. I am pretty, don’t get me wrong, but I’m big. People say I look like Meghan Trainor or Adel but I don’t- It’s just those are the only plus size pretty people they know about and they want to give a compliment. My friend said he probably is more attracted to me physically but that he feels too much social pressure to be with someone like her. Maybe there’s a seed of truth in that but that social pressure also motivates him to stay emotionally distant- it’s not like we have a relationship it really was just sex. One time he said he loved me but I could tell he was just trying to get a reaction like when he called me Ashley- I laughed told him at that time “I don’t care if you know my name”. I just can’t be “the other woman”. I don’t want to be blamed for whatever inevitably goes wrong in their sham of a relationship.