He asked me how I feel about a long distance relationship like officially. I told him I never wanted to be in one because it just seems needlessly difficult and painful.... but that also the only person I want to be in a relationship with is him and he’s far away so... maybe we should give it a try. I told him the notion terrifies me because if it goes well it can’t stay long distance and I now he’s not moving back here so it would have to be me to go where he is...

My family was mostly supportive except my step brother. He actually found a moment to tell me that everyone else will tell me it’s a great idea but it’s not it makes everything harder. I will be honest that shook me a little just because he tends to stay out of things and not offer an opinion. When I think about it yeah it’s harder than if he were here but I’d rather hard than nothing, right!?

And yeah would I prefer him closer- yes obviously... but I had missed just talking with this man and I know we won’t be apart forever, you know? We had a video call this morning I had actually accidentally called him. After we hung up he texted “you look really cute this morning btw” I literally hadn’t even washed my face yet, no makeup unbrushed hair, PJs... and he says I’m cute.

I sent him a cake for his birthday and he took it with him to the restaurant with his family which just made me super happy actually. He sent me pictures they were great- he doesn’t like taking pictures of himself and even less with big smiles but I just love seeing him smile it’s seriously the cutest.