And i dont think its gonna get much easier Map of Promematique - Muse ah i &heart; muse :) So was out on thurs night and pulled this guy, he was ok looking till he wouldnt leave me alone and slevered all over my face...nice...luckily he is technologically retarded and so he couldnt get my phone number, hopefull he wont b out tonite! He told me tht he got with sarah who is the girl tht R has been "being good" for...what a SKANK she has been acting all inocent and vulnerable to him and in the meantime she is getting with other guys??? Was feeling rough as hell yesterday cos only got in at 5am but got a call from maggie at 12 telling me to come meet her in town for lunch, managed to get up and dressed and to the bus in 10 mins am v proud of myself for tht, couldnt eat my chips and cheese tho cos felt like i was gonna spew then i saw lou walkin past the window i wanted to cry :( i am so sad that i have hurt him so much tho he keeps telling me not to think like i have hurt him. i really want us to still be friends but its gonna b difficult, prob more for him than me so i feel selfish knowing that. i am hurting him now by keeping on telling him not to text and stuff but i think it is better in the long run, when he comes to get his stuff from my flat in a couple of weeks i will talk to him about it. happy house - siouxie and the banshees so anyway i had to go to work feelin rough and tired yest but i managed surprisingly well, stupid bus drove right past me at 4 so i was in late as well, missed out on an hours pay! That reminds me i wonder if i have been payed yet, i am so poor i duno what i am gonna do about money next year, i really need to call SAAS and find out whats going on with my loan! Anxiety - Black Eyed Peas AWESOME song! love it!! Got to work again today but hopefully i will get off early so i can go out for Eilidh's 21st, Lou said he is gonna try make it but he prob wont cos of stupid shinty but then its prob better cos he will b hurt seein me talking to guys even tho i always talk to guys cos im friendly like that, its not like im gonna pull someone right infront of him , infact after thurs i dont wana pull anyone!! I just hope he is not his usual drunken mess cos tht is one o the reasons i broke up with him and i know tht i will be the one lookin after him if he is. Man this song makes me type furiously! I am gonna wear jeans and a top and no makeup and messy hair, sort of the opposite of "make him see what he is missing" just incase he does make it out. I keep worrying about what to do with R but i think i shud just see how it goes haha AWESOME i have set my itunes to play songs i havent listened to latly... Girl all the Bad Guys want - Bowling for Soup *dances in her seat* WOO HOOOOO just checked my bank balance...i have FINALLY made it past the -£500 mark :D need to stop spending so much money out tho, think i will try stay relatively sober tonite tho, no shots for me!!! man i love this tune hehe makes me happy :D reminds me of my skatergirl days, i kinda miss skating might have to get down to "KG" haha and have a go (on a quiet day so i dont get laughed at!) oh dear... tiny dancer - elton john *sigh* this song makes me think of lou, he made me download it, i miss him so much he is my best friend in the world i really hope we can go back to being friends like that without hurting eachother. think it is time for me to stop getting so serious with guys cos the last 3 have always become my best friend and it hurts so much when i have to break up with them. At least i have some good girl friends now, i do really feel quite positive about this coming uni year. i think i shud volunteer for the GUCU cooking thing, i have no idea what its all about but i have enthusiasm lol so might drop an email in and find out. I could prob sit on here and chat shit for ages so i think i will go... x