Life is so confusing at the moment, it was so nice this morning waking up wi my man and having a cuddle but didnt really feel the love the whole time we were together yest and couldnt stop thinking bout "him" last night while i was trying (ad failing) to fall asleep. on the plus side i didnt have anymore dreams about him. Found out a "friend" of mine who keeps on letting me down was out in my 'hood on thursday night and didnt even tell me, even tho i ask her out every time i am going cos i feel i should cos i invite the rest of the group even tho i would rather not see her, guess i dont have to feel bad about not inviting her anymore. Just makes me so mad cos last time we were out she took me aside to ask if i was annoyed with her over one of the incidents and i said i wasnt cos i thought i might have taken it out of context or too personally even tho i was i just didnt want to cause trouble but after i had reassured her she point blank lied to my face about what had happened as if i wasnt there or was remembering events wrongly. ARGH i dont know why i bother, except for the fact that i know she is insecure and just wants to be loved. but why should i make her my charity case? Going out for drinks tonight, "he" was meant to be coming but his ex is going so he isnt gonna come, i hope its cos of the ex and not me, tho it is prob better that he isnt going either way. Not looking forward to the next 5 days, am working 2 x 8hr day shifts, a 9am-12 midnight shift and 2 x 7hr night shifts, am gonna be dead on my feet.