yeah. this is really gay. and i hate it. i dont know what's going on with derrick. it seems like lately getting high is more important than anything to him. and that really fucking bothers me. i dont want to cut off his life, and make it so he has no friends and nothing to do other than hangout with me, but i do want to actually feel like im in his life. i dont even fucking know. the friends? dustan is really nice. its getting to me. ?he licked my cheek today? go figure. mikecollins and i are supposed to hangoutsoon. asfriends. dont get any ideas, kids. mitch and i are able to talk to eachother with out the akwardness now its nice. can you believe thats it has almost been a year? me and mitch. holyfckingshit. this really brings back memories. a lot of them good. bad. funny. everything. all of the firsts, all of the lasts. jesus. i dont want to think about this. i dont know what im going to do about the derrick situation. i couldnt live with myself if i broke up with him over something this stupid. but i dont know. i really thought this was going to work. well, here's to the snow, the cold, th leaves, the food, and the friends. i love this;; fall.