Man guys... I'm scared shitless! I have to go back and visit the plastic surgen tomorrow. He is going to tell me weather or not I will ever be able to use my left hand again, for my entire life! I'm scared cause my arm isn't showing any progress, still numb with pain and as lifeless as a hooker after being raped, beaten, and killed.. ya know I never thought I had enough hate build inside to actually hurt myself, but who am I kidding right?... with as much shit as I deal with everyday it was bound to happen, especally since I don't have the heart to hurt anyone else this bad....it's weird ya know, I never asked for a fucked up life, it wasn't my choice or descion, but I end up in the end with more guilt and pain than I've ever imagined!... Everyday something new happens and I often find myself saying,"Damn, nothing could be worse", but in the end the pain and anger only continue to worsten.... what is my purpose?... Why do I always seem to end up alone at night?... and Why the fuck do I always feel so fuckin cold and empty?... see I tell myself I am a strong person, but would a strong person hurt themselves, would a strong person keep everything inside, and would a strong person have so many unanswered questions?...