well just doin the customary hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well just thought id do another update!! for anyone who remembers me hey hope everyones ok! its 2.30 in afternoon here and im off work. i injured me back in june cos of lifting the kids at work and its been really bad lately so aint at work. its driving me crazy not been able to do anything. plus the docs have given me diazepam and loads of strong painkillers so im a bit out of it!

o my god i just remembered this place!! my last entry was nearly a year ago wow !!

well back again completly forgot about this place! ooops!! its all changed theres adds everywhere dont like it!!

well its nice and sunny here for a change. theres been no sign of summer at all. its well rubbish!! cant be bothered to type much!! how lazy am i gettin

well its been a while since ive been on here!! lots of things happened. i moved house on the 1st july and my new house is sooooo cool. im now living wi 6 people which is pretty good and everyone is nice. job is goin really well still and ive now started my nursery nurse training yay at last!! anyways gonna be a short one cos ive stuff to do!!

well im lookin forward to another fantastic weekend with guess who meeeee. 3 weeks till i move cant wait. gonna be soo nice to have people actually around and not pissing off home all the time

went out sat nite for me birthday and had a brill nite!!! we had a rite laugh. got nice and drunk and pulled a few nice guys!! it was weird 3 of em remembered me from when i was there 2 weeks ago which slightly scared me but one of em was sooo nice. he took me number so dunno if hes gonna call but he said he comes to leeds a lot and knows it quite well so who knows. i went to the rda which is a charity in the uk -riding for the disabled. ive been a volunteer helper wi em for over 2 years now but cos i moved from home i dont get to go as much now. well i went on sat and helped out it was brill to see me horses again!! i also got to ride which was even better but im now really sore and achey cos i aint ridden for so long :( was sooo worth it though. hopefully ive found a riding school not too far from where i live so ill be able to get sme riding done. back to work tomoz but i dont know what time in in so who knows!! get there when i get there i guess.

yay 20 today!!!!!!!!!!!

im 20 tomorrow no longer a teenager. o dear ill have to grow up!!!!!!

I adopted a cute lil' fairy fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! slightly sick but highly amusing!!!!

well ive had yet another fantastic weekend. yeah whatever. went to me mates house on the way home from work on friday and stayed there a few hours. went back to mine only to find no linzi. sent her a text askin where she was, she said im at me parents home silly i told u i was goin ill be back sunday. funnily enough i dont remember her tellin me. the only time i knew she was goin was on my birthday cos shes got to go to some stupid footie thing wi boyfriend. then she sent one saying was i gonna be ok on me own. stupid fuckin question or what. im there every weekend on me own course im fuckin used to it. anyway i didnt put that even though i wanted to, i just put well im used to it by now and anyway nigel keeps me company. nigel is my adopted hamster. hes sooo cute and funny. so thats been my weekend. wow its only 11.30 here im ususally still in bed. ive been talkin to this guy on the internet for a while now. hes 23, very cute and a coppper!! and hopefully were meetin soon so i cant wait for that. he asked if next week wa good but im goin home for me birthday so fingers crossed for the weekend after. its quite funny though cos he usually seem to be workin when im out clubbin pissed out me face! i aint seen him yet thank god! imagine him havin to arrest me for bein drunk and disorderly. mmmmm anyway enough of that!! moving house in 6 weeks cant wait!! im counting down proper style now!!

cant believe how sunny it is here this morning its well nice!! shame i dont feel like enjoying it. well ive been here on me own since yesterday shes not comin back till monday nite sometime. o how i fuckin love it here. were movin house in about 6 weeks now cant wait. theres gonna be 6 of us altogether which will be so much better than just 2 of us or well just me as it seems to be all the time. ive been really pissed off this week. just felt so lonely again. think it might be cos i went home last weekend and loved it. its a bit of a shock comin back here where i hardly see any of me so called friends-not that theres many of em to see. its my birthday on the 28th gonna be 20 can u believe it. im gonna be proper grown up. im gonna be spendin me birthday on me own too which has kinda upset me a bit. me and linz were supposd to be goin out but shes wait for it goin home on the fri. yeah cheers love. its just cos matthews got a stupid footie thing and she cant miss it cos he wont like that. so im gonna go home on the 29th morning and im off out wi me mates from back home which should be fun-if last weeks to go on!! me mam was pissed of when i told her she really doesnt like linz any more. its like she said surely she can give the footie thing a miss. its not like its even for her. one of me mates from back home stopped here a while ago and linz just ignored her and was rude to her. just cos we aint all posh and rich like she is. its no reason to ignore people. maybe im bein all immature and stupid over it but i just thought that after everything thats happened this year she would be there for me for a day thats supposed to be happy for me. after all shes never there for me when im goin through shit

been at work not done much else really boring one!!

well i went out last nite as the naughty school girl!! it was soo much fun. i was so drunk i think im still drunk now. we stated drinkin at 5 in the evening and when we crawled in at 4 we carryed on drinking till 6 ish at me mates house. thats bad. it was the best nite out in ages cant believe how much fun i actually had!! we got id'd nearly everywhere which was so annoying i mean im 20 in 2 weeks im sure i must look over 18!! anyways i need to sober up got work in the morn!! gonna have hangover me thinks. i did pull some quite nice lads though which made the nite even better!!

well im physically loads better. been at work and its been ok. one of me workmates housemates is sooo nice met him once and i said to her how nice he was. anyways last nite i was at his house and he cooked me tea!! he is soooo nice i cant believe it but its early days so im just gonna have to wait and see fingers crossed for me goin home tommorrow nite. its me mates mams birthdays and were goin clubbin as naughty school girls!!! should be fun anyways im gonna be headin off to bed soon methinks

feel like crap really shit and ive had enough

well i had a fun day yesterday. spent most of it being sick, so im not at work today yay!! had a good week at work apart from the fact my sickness is prolly a bug from the kids!!! went out friday nite got nice and drunk. pulled this fella but nowts gonna come of it. ive seen him in there before and weve danced and stuff but ended up spending most of the nite wi him on friday. anyways i gave him my number and since then its been constant fone calls and texts off him. he foned yesterday but i pretended to be linz cos i didnt wanna speak to him and he was saying that he wanted to come to house to make me better! weird i had a text off him and it almost sounded as though he wa having a go. it wa saying stuff like why didnt i tell him i was poorly hed been worried and he wanted to see me. hello ive only met the guy when ive been drunk!! theres some strange ones out there!!

aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just how i feel at the mo. no particular reason

me parents came to see me today the joy of that. at the mo im feelin so depressed. ive been here on me own for 2 weeks now. not heard anything from any of me mates. i personally think they there avoiding me as some of em dont seem to be replying to messages and shit. maybe im just bein paranoid who knows. all i know is that ive been sat here for ages in tears and cant stop crying. the depressions defnatly back. im gettin the feelings of not wanting to get up, the general my life is shit and the self inflicted pain feelings are around at the mo.