Audra!~ I haven’t slept regularly this whole weekend. Bowling was awesome, but everyone got so tired! Me and caffeine…wow, two things that don’t go well together…haha. Too bad that I like Starbucks. I had a lot of fun dancing, doing strange things bowling (like leapfrog or through a tunnel of legs), talking to you (while I laid on you stomach…lol), and talking to Diego while he was half asleep. I always seem to have fun talking with sleeping people…it’s probably because people say the funniest things when they aren’t quite conscious. I guess I probably said/did some odd things when I wasn’t quite conscious in the morning. Wow…I DROVE to Diego’s, but totally don’t remember what happened between turning the corner SLOWLY and all of a sudden there being the stop sign. I’m really glad that I somehow ended up sleeping there (I don’t even remember what happened…how sad is that?…I really shouldn’t have been driving) or else I might have ended up killing myself on the freeway or something. That would have been horrible if I had done the drifting off thing while on the freeway…yeah, right into a wall. I seriously believe that everything happens for a reason, but I already explained this one to you. I don’t think I’ve slept during the normal hours of sleeping at all this weekend, last night included. Last night I was going to go to bed at a descent time, but then I got distracted with college applications. I finished the UC application except for the essay (the one for Berkeley, San Diego, and maybe UCLA), so that’s exciting. I decided that now I’m also going to add some Colorado schools, Harvard, Princeton (maybe those two), and some schools out of the country to my list to apply to. I just don’t want to not have many options come May, just in case I want a drastic change (haha…that’s a laugh). I love my life how it is, and I absolutely love all the people in it…but there is no way to keep it this way. Major change is inevitable anyway, so maybe I should just change everything at once. I don’t really think I could do this though, so applying all these places is kinda pointless. I would much rather keep as many good friends as I can instead of throwing away all of them (it’s not really an all or nothing situation), and I’d miss you too much leaving here. Also, I don’t know how my mom would deal. This lady (my dad answered the door, and doesn’t know who it is) came by just now and dropped off this magazine that has an article about my and my Gold Award project (complete with horrible picture…*yay*). After my mom read the article she was about to cry because the lady who wrote it quoted me saying “…It’s created a special bond between us – one I hope to share one day with my daughter”. I don’t remember saying this, but it sounds like my words, and now my mom is crying because of that and also how I’m leaving and nothing will ever be the same. Live moves on…(scary concept when you actually think about it). I think we had fun yesterday with all those little kids. Those twins were so cute! (but that lady and the 5 year old…you know what I’m talking about…eww) I had fun doing that skit…we all did a pretty good job improvising. I think my favorite part was when Jamie was like “Who would ever wear their hair in a ponytail?”, and she had forgotten to take her hair out of a ponytail before the skit (at least everyone laughed). Emily is so sweet…if I had to pick, she’d probably be my example of a wonderful person (if I had to pick someone who isn’t one of my best friends of course:) ). Btw…I hope you don’t feel sick anymore. You start with a bowl (after you dump the old turkey and dressing from last night out of it), and toss some lemons and limes in, but although the lemons and limes work well together, you get confused what’s really a lemon and what’s really a lime :S. Everywhere else in the world, the limes are the lemons, so you just throw them both in the bowl and don’t try to separate them. You then hear different things from the lemons and the limes, but you don’t know which to listen to because you (well me in this case) just mixed up the lemons with the limes. It doesn’t stop there though! Well first you’ve got your lemons and limes, and YOU (this time I mean you) throw some walnuts into the mix, and then we’ve got a pretty strange salad (you have lemons and walnuts…interesting combo…am I not supposed to mention lemons and walnuts in the same sentence? Oh well). You probably should go with the lemons (even though they can appear to be sour, but that’s just my opinion), and walnuts are pretty tough to crack (even if you were to try). I’m jealous of Kyle…that’s how I wish things were (well not exactly like that…but you know what I mean). I’m just confused, and I’d just like to toss the whole salad in the trash, but realistically that would suck. Subconsciously (well I guess it’s not too subconsciously because I can realize it) I want one thing, but I keep telling myself I want something else (which I don’t even know what that is)…I guess I just don’t want to hurt myself even though at the moment that seems to be inevitable. I know this sounds dumb, but I guess I wish we could take the lemons and limes (out of the salad of course) and make lemonade (because they are all/both actually what you know as lemons…the yellow ones)…although I don’t know how that would work. It’s hard to change any type of fruit if it doesn’t want to be altered, even if the results are better for everyone. I just want to sleep, and skip a few years in life…but I don’t really want to do that because I’d miss all you guys too much. I just have a ‘missing’ problem…I don’t do well with losing people. I wish I could tell everyone I know what I actually think of them. I think I would surprise a few people, but probably upset some others. Most people don’t actually like hearing the truth, so that’s why the truth never truly comes out. I’d prefer not to hear the truth, but maybe the truth about things is best. You can only make actual decisions based on the truth…not matter how much it hurts at the time. But everything always gets better…I know it’s hard to realize that when you’re in a situation, but it really does. “Everything is Gonna Be Allright…”…we should make a CD with that being every track (haha…you would go absolutely ballistic!). Well enough of that…I have to go off to work (even though I told them I’m not working until the holidays, if I ever do). I felt bad though because they’re doing inventory and I’m an “inventory pro”…which is sad because it’s not all that difficult. I guess I have to go back to dealing with life now and call someone (whom you wouldn’t call) even though I know exactly what is going to happen in our conversation. It’s funny how I can depress myself but then go back to being happy…interesting. Sleep works wonders though, so I hope that everyone (including myself…SLEEP!) can try to get more of that. Love and hugs~ Sarah :D (P.S. This is even better than a private entry because I can say all the same stuff, but just between the lines and I get to use fun analogies too:D…haha) (P.P.S I like the salad thingy…after I explained how I came up with each name, doesn’t it make SOOO much sense?…freaky) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Update: Audra~ I had a long time to think at work, and I’ve decided that I just want things to go back to how they were. I’m going to stop trying to change the salad and just take it at face value. Whatever happens happens, and there really isn’t much I can do about it. I can only control myself, so here is me taking control: I’ve decided what I want, some sort of change whether that be forward or backwards. I’m thinking backwards probably will be what happens, but you never know. Btw…Stephen, you screwed up…you should be more careful what you tell people (I still love you though). So work was FUN…and now I have so much to do tonight, I don’t know if I’m going to get a chance to sleep, oh well. You just have to keep up because life will go on without you. ~Sarah (P.S. I hope you had fun at the concert with Wes…I guess you can tell me all about it if I see you later tonight. :) )