today has been a long day. first jake totally made me get all pissed off no reason. ok, well there was a reason, but it was minor. he broke my practical magic movie on puropse. he stepped on it and was being all stupid. so then i punched my wall only leading to my hand hurting. then i was crying ans shit and pushed one of my dresser things up against the door, since jake has broken the lock. after that i started throwing things all over the place and made my room even more messy than it already was. so i just started flipping out for no reason. that tape shit just set me off. so then i walked around the block in the freesing cold. and then i went upstairs and read the new books i bought the other day. time passed and then it was about 11 when my mom came into my room throwing clothes and books at me, i was sitting on the floor at the time saying "fuck" in every sentance that spouted from her lips. talking about how we were all bitches and raving on useing the word fuck. so then i decided enough of this, put on my shoes grabbed my coat, and walked out the door. a mere 8 seconds later Bret came running after me, and nicole standing at the door yelled where was i going. Bret and i came ot the corener where my middle school bus stop had been, and i decided to stop and sit. then i layed. and bret fellowd my lead. then jake rode by on his bike, not noticing us laying on the ground, and yelling Bret's name. i laughed at him notr noticing us, and he turned around. then we walked back to my house and jake said my mom must have been going 100 mph trying to find me. and then she came speeding behind us, and yelled that i had to go home. so i did, becus i was already doing that. she yelled at me and i went upstairs and cut the hell out of my left already scarred arm. i finished my book, wrote my mom a letter, and now i am here. i would like to go to jakes hockey game, but considering my mother is not very kindly twards my family right now i'd rather not risk it, and i wouldnt be able to get up on my own. i already took my seroqul so i am tired.