my mind is turning into mush and all my freinds that i keep their meld into one that i feel extreme gratitude toward for keeping my company. i have so much to offer but i dont understand why they see hope in me. it seems like one of those eternal questions or endless struggles the way i finish out my days but i can see the end and feel it. i'm not really sad just confused about why things happen to me the way they do and where they will take me next. i never know where i will be next and who will be there and why. its a struggle to see it all clearly somtimes the struggle between somantics and semantics that keep me hard-wired always expecting to find the bookmark at the end of this chapter where i left. spring is here agian though and i'm glad to see the sun lift thorugh the cold and grey rainy weather to greet me everyday this season, i've got to much to lose to spend it all in one place. i'll see where this year goes and find my place there. speak the reality of the situation and not the variable flexable moldable paint the picture unitil its what you want to see truth. good night cruel world i'll still be here in the morning when all these intentions have run themselves to an end. good night and good bye kind freind i dont know when will find each other again but unitil then i'll be waiting until then and then some. good night even though i dare not type your name here. good morning when this all blows over into the marrow. "if there's a bustle in your hedgerow dont be alarmed now, its just a sprinkling for the may queen, yes there are two paths you can go back but in the longrun there's still time to change the road your on."