Math can suck my penis. I hate math. I had a math test today and it sucked!!!!!!!!!!!111 ALso, fuck the wind! It's so pointless!!!! The only thing it does is ruin a perfect day!!!! If I were to design a torture chamber, I would suspend a platform above SHARK-filled water in a WIND tunnel. Then I would hang up a few BEE's nests... that way it would be a triple threat. THAT WOULD BE SO FRIGHTENING Aaaaaahahhhhha. Milli Vinilli sucked, by the way.

Ode to a beat up girl, I know you're out there Stronger than you think, stand up if you care Get up off the ground, don't let me down Get up off the ground, don't let me down Hang in there, use your head How can I love you after you're dead? Hang in there, keep trying How can I love you after dying? And you: I'm gonna let you pass without kicking you're ass Because I'm above it You hurt someone I love It takes two to make a thing go right, and that's trite But one just to sneak and weasel through the night If you hurt her again I'll fuck you up If you hurt her again I'll fuck you up, fuck you up

In a dream You were sitting there waiting by the door for me And I got the opportunity To experience the experience once again How it could have maybe been But in real life You're in another world You're with another guy Who doesn't have to cheat And never has to lie And all that stuff I didn't get Comes so easy to him He doesn't even have to try But do you ever ask yourself How it could have maybe been I haven't been that bad But I haven't been that good Overmisunderstood Oh I wish I really could Enjoy the warming sun Enjoy a warm someone And end the need to hide Away alone inside In a dream You were sitting there waiting by the door for me

endless fields of them would pretty much make my day. keep trying, someday we will cease to exist

REQUIEM Charley: It’s getting dark, Linda. Linda stares, motionless. Biff: Yeah, pal. What do you say to a nice evening of sleep? It’s pretty late, don’t ya think? Linda: (unexpressive) I can’t believe no one came to see him. Where are all of his friends? Happy: (pointing) Look, there’s someone over there! What do you think he wants? Charley, Biff, and Linda simultaneously turn their heads in the direction of Happy’s pointed finger. Lights up on far left revealing Hamlet., all in black, crouched behind a particularly large headstone. Linda: Who is that man... and what is he doing here? Biff: (loudly, to Hamlet) Hey! Just what do you think you’re doing here?! Hamlet: (standing now) Nay, I am Hamlet of Denmark! Biff: (plainly confused) Jeez, is this some kind of a joke? Just tell us who you are! Hamlet: (crossing to the center) Dost thou truly quake in the fiery slough of disbelief? Mark thee well; ‘twas once I identified my being, and only once more shall it be revealed. I am Hamlet of Denmark, servant to madness! The others glance nervously at each other, unsure of how to react. Charley: Care to repeat that in English, buddy? Hamlet: Why must we speaketh by the card? Aye, plainly I told you my name and origin. Now you shall return the favor and reveal yourselves unto me. Happy: I think he wants us to tell him who we are. Linda: Well my name is Linda, and I’m... was Willy’s wife. Were you two good friends? Hamlet: (aside) ‘Tis a name most familiar... (suddenly) Alas, poor Willy! I knew him well. Biff: (surprised) Really? Were you one of his customers? Hamlet: “Customer,” say you? ‘Tis true, by pen we forged many a foul deal. Happy: Are you saying my pop gave you a bad deal? Linda: Sh. That’s between him and your father, Happy. (to Hamlet) Would you like to see his grave? Maybe say a few words? Hamlet: Nay, woman! Your quilted marriage has fabricated a bed most unholy, and I can bear your presence no longer. Go, and get thee to a nunnery! Linda gasps, and the men advance toward Hamlet in anger. Charley: Look pal, give Linda a break. I mean, for cryin’ out loud, it was her husband’s funeral today! Hamlet: (draws sword) I shed no tears of which you speaketh! My purpose now is only to insist that Sir Shakespeare would marry no such woman. Biff and Happy: (to each other) Shakespeare? Linda: I think you’re at the wrong funeral, Mr. Hamlet. My husband was Willy Loman. Hamlet: (aside) Aye, so the mad woman agrees that man is simply loam, doomed to an eternity of halting the beer’s flow. Happy: Was he just talking to himself? Charley: I don’t know... but speaking of which, I could definitely use a beer right now. Jesus, who is this son-of-a-bitch? Hamlet: (thrusting sword, menacingly) Get thee back! Leave me to dwell in this garden of souls alone, for the man will awake to mourning one last time. Alas, his only gift to me was the present melancholy by which I now act upon. Linda begins sobbing, thinking that the stranger is simply trying to ridicule her husband from beyond the grave. Biff, in an attempt to console his mother, punches Hamlet in the face, knocking him dead to the ground. Charley: (astonished) Say! There’s the old Biff I knew! The Biff that got things done. Happy: Yeah! Way to go, ol’ buddy! Linda: (wiping tears from her eyes) Your father would be so proud! Biff: (with restored confidence) It’s not too late for that, you know. I’ll show Pop that I can be everything he hoped for. Starting now, I’m gonna make something of my life! No more stealin’ or nothing! Happy: There ya go, Biff! Biff: Things are gonna be different now, I promise. Come on, let’s go home. Slowly, the lights fade on the characters as they walk offstage. Willy’s theme is heard playing softly, and - THE CURTAIN FALLS

Convention and plain vision Crazy craves and Waves of complexion Advertised, devised To hypnotize Every matter spoken Every action taken You're sure to see stars

You should have heard me sobbing As I drove home that night Got into bed and stayed there For days I just laid there Having been permanently changed But we won't get into that now Let's take it from the start You should have seen me smiling Like the world was mine She used to call me baby Softly, sometimes But if I dwell on those days too long I feel like my life is over And that's no good So let's move on To the part where I begin to sense Her distance I panic and hold on tighter But that makes it worse How am I supposed to take it When she said: "This is something I'm going through, It's got nothing to do with you" I had a special evening all planned out Desperately determined to reignite Some spark between us She had to feel something for me A love as strong as ours Doesn't just go away You can't just turn it off Unless she was lying all those times But I don't think so I really don't think so The way she used to look at me Made me a thousand feet high The meaning of the word cool Not the same geek Who fumbled through his words that night The ugliest night

Heat on my back Dropping in echoes Of distant stars, Their wind in my hair Is visiting air; If only I could see where you've been. Lunar monsters Eclipse my mood

Red nights again, Put on your shades You look so cool In this crimson Glow We should move But even in heaven Angels aren't for everyone.

This year smells like young lust What will become of us? I cried and ran away But you will always stay I'm in love with you, isn't that enough?

It's official: I'm quitting school and becoming a comedian.

Shame on you for thinking you're an exception We're all to blame Crashing down to Earth Wasting and burning out Fading like a dead star Harm is coming your way You used to be everything to me And now you're tired of fighting for yourself Shame on you for thinking you're all alone If you want I'll make you wish you were Failing to impress Why can't you sleep with someone who'll protect you? Harm is coming your way You used to be everything to me And now you're tired of fighting for yourself

Like ships at sail, It's the same wind That takes us away It's the same sea That tears us apart Broken by a bond With a promise of no return

When I Waved To You Then You Knew I Was Gone You Calmed Down There In The Air Where I Can't Move Just To Say To You Goodbye, My Love Goodbye

I'm being used. I can't believe that it's taken me this long to realize I'm being used.

This morning I went to church and put on a video presentation documenting the mission trip that I went on last month. After that, some of us went to Panera for lunch. When I got back home, I worked out for a little while and fooled around with Garageband some more. (I'm still addicted.) Then my parents took me out to dinner for my birthday, because they forgot to do something for me two weeks ago when it actually was my birthday. I had to work right after that, so I left early and got changed. As soon as I stepped in to work, I didn't feel like helping a single customer. Therefore, I stayed in the back and washed dishes all night while the new kids served customers. Jennifer came over after work, and we watched all three hours of The Titanic. (It's a very nostalgic movie, so I was down for the long ride.) After that, I went to sleep. ...And that's why I'd much rather write about giant, killer innertubes filled with jelly than my boring life.

If I'm not careful, Garageband will soon consume my every waking minute. Seriously, it's so addicting.

I think Danny Elfman's score for EDWARD SCISSORHANDS is the greatest musical achievement of the 20th century. It lulls me to sleep faster than the droning of my broken heart.

This past weekend I stayed at our drummer's cabin in Michigan. It was more incredible than dancing on buttered noodles in a valley made of bubble wrap and candy canes. (Altough I think I may have done that a few times in my crunken haze.) The feeling of independence was amazing, and I didn't need to worry about anything. The only thing that mattered was running out of weed and alcohol, but we thankfully had plenty of both. I met so many cool people, and it made me realize that college was going to be very similar. (Minus the whole school thing.) So yeah, I'm really looking forward to school for once now that I know that I'm capable of being sociable if I want to be. And I finally realized what I've been missing since about freshman year that has kept the opposite sex from jumping me on the streets like they used to: a tan!

My mistake was giving in to my wants. Your mistake was giving up on your needs. Well I'm leaving again. I wish it was for good this time, but that's not going to happen for about another month. Oh well... I'm still going to have a lot of fun, and it will be a nice break from all the work I've been doing lately. rock on mutherfuckers!