REQUIEM Charley: It’s getting dark, Linda. Linda stares, motionless. Biff: Yeah, pal. What do you say to a nice evening of sleep? It’s pretty late, don’t ya think? Linda: (unexpressive) I can’t believe no one came to see him. Where are all of his friends? Happy: (pointing) Look, there’s someone over there! What do you think he wants? Charley, Biff, and Linda simultaneously turn their heads in the direction of Happy’s pointed finger. Lights up on far left revealing Hamlet., all in black, crouched behind a particularly large headstone. Linda: Who is that man... and what is he doing here? Biff: (loudly, to Hamlet) Hey! Just what do you think you’re doing here?! Hamlet: (standing now) Nay, I am Hamlet of Denmark! Biff: (plainly confused) Jeez, is this some kind of a joke? Just tell us who you are! Hamlet: (crossing to the center) Dost thou truly quake in the fiery slough of disbelief? Mark thee well; ‘twas once I identified my being, and only once more shall it be revealed. I am Hamlet of Denmark, servant to madness! The others glance nervously at each other, unsure of how to react. Charley: Care to repeat that in English, buddy? Hamlet: Why must we speaketh by the card? Aye, plainly I told you my name and origin. Now you shall return the favor and reveal yourselves unto me. Happy: I think he wants us to tell him who we are. Linda: Well my name is Linda, and I’m... was Willy’s wife. Were you two good friends? Hamlet: (aside) ‘Tis a name most familiar... (suddenly) Alas, poor Willy! I knew him well. Biff: (surprised) Really? Were you one of his customers? Hamlet: “Customer,” say you? ‘Tis true, by pen we forged many a foul deal. Happy: Are you saying my pop gave you a bad deal? Linda: Sh. That’s between him and your father, Happy. (to Hamlet) Would you like to see his grave? Maybe say a few words? Hamlet: Nay, woman! Your quilted marriage has fabricated a bed most unholy, and I can bear your presence no longer. Go, and get thee to a nunnery! Linda gasps, and the men advance toward Hamlet in anger. Charley: Look pal, give Linda a break. I mean, for cryin’ out loud, it was her husband’s funeral today! Hamlet: (draws sword) I shed no tears of which you speaketh! My purpose now is only to insist that Sir Shakespeare would marry no such woman. Biff and Happy: (to each other) Shakespeare? Linda: I think you’re at the wrong funeral, Mr. Hamlet. My husband was Willy Loman. Hamlet: (aside) Aye, so the mad woman agrees that man is simply loam, doomed to an eternity of halting the beer’s flow. Happy: Was he just talking to himself? Charley: I don’t know... but speaking of which, I could definitely use a beer right now. Jesus, who is this son-of-a-bitch? Hamlet: (thrusting sword, menacingly) Get thee back! Leave me to dwell in this garden of souls alone, for the man will awake to mourning one last time. Alas, his only gift to me was the present melancholy by which I now act upon. Linda begins sobbing, thinking that the stranger is simply trying to ridicule her husband from beyond the grave. Biff, in an attempt to console his mother, punches Hamlet in the face, knocking him dead to the ground. Charley: (astonished) Say! There’s the old Biff I knew! The Biff that got things done. Happy: Yeah! Way to go, ol’ buddy! Linda: (wiping tears from her eyes) Your father would be so proud! Biff: (with restored confidence) It’s not too late for that, you know. I’ll show Pop that I can be everything he hoped for. Starting now, I’m gonna make something of my life! No more stealin’ or nothing! Happy: There ya go, Biff! Biff: Things are gonna be different now, I promise. Come on, let’s go home. Slowly, the lights fade on the characters as they walk offstage. Willy’s theme is heard playing softly, and - THE CURTAIN FALLS