Soooo... It's like 1:34 a.m and I decide to make a little thingermajig on here. My God, that's annoying. "Thingermajig" it makes something in my head say "what idiot thought that up?" I'm going to have to figure this out. All these neat little preferences.. I see why Bugosh abandoned ET. Sooo... yeah... How 'bout them pistons? Yeah, that field goal they scored last week was.. just awesome! Ch'yeah! and their goaly Burt Renolds. A brilliant Afgan. But their defense needs some serious TLC. Yeah.. I'm brilliant. I can go on pretending like I know what I'm talking about. Einsteins got nothing on me.. Bitch. Tiffany and I just crawled onto her roof. Oh, yes! I love being an idiotic teenager. I hope you all have got on your thinking socks. Hah, that just tickles my pickles. That sounds so dirrteh. Tiffany just walked into the room with a cup of coffee. I insisted she show me how much creamer she added to it. She shows me the coffee. It's white. Not black.. Not light brown. White. Y'know what she says? "I'm not racist." I've decided to put something in here not entirely random. Something that is.. Well, it's not important. Oh! It has a "point". That's the word I'm looking for. Holy shit! Something just licked my elbow. Oh, it was only tiffany's beast. I could make the word "beast" turn into the word "breast" and make this all sound as if her breast has somehow licked my elbow. Kama Sutra position 204. But I was supposed to have a point with this. I must work on not having the attention span of a retarded gold fish................................DAHUUURR. ok, ok jeez... Some things that have happened over the summer seeing how it's coming to a close. -I have learned that small bladders bother Ashley. -Tissues have a way of exploding in the washer. -According to Tiffany, in 50 years time, the nursing homes will be filled with old wrinklies with tattoos and piercings. -Jacob smells like man-bitch. -The Boogieman was killed by that one guy from 7th Heaven. *whew* -I miss lisa. -Bush appears to be the most hated man in the world. Right up there with those hairy terrorists and serial killers. -I saw Collin Ferral's ballsack. I was stunned. My poor innocence has been tainted. I thank the directors of Alexander. -I have learned that dieting is NOT fun. -Low-carb ice cream tastes like turtle poo and I hope "DR." Atkins burns in Hell. -I have become much more optimistic. (I'm still thinking about Collin Farrel's ballsack. Why is this? The image is seared into my brain. Oh, God, it's aweful...) -HBO porn is hilarious. -Allure, Cosmo, Glamour, and Self magazines are going to be the downfall all of mankind. -When life gives you lemons it's its' own way of metaphorically pissing in your face. (Still there...) -Golf is a dirrteh sport. Boring and dirrteh. -I've become a nocturnal creature of the night that only graces the day by awaking at 3:00 p.m... *hisses all underground-people-ishly* -There are people who are weirder than I. Call CNN! -Every trip to wal-mart has been an adventure. (I guess this is turning out to be pretty random. I'm not forcing you to read this.. I don't have to follow any rules! Even if they are my own! T'Hell with having a point! Communists!) -I dearly need to pee. -I've watched an entire episode of The Maury Show. During this time I have seen a goth man and a midget make out, tongue and all. I have watched a 400 pound woman strip. And I have seen a man with over 30 facial piercings explain how hard it is to find a partner... And the entire time I felt little pieces of my brain rot away. -I have memorized the entire "Be Our Guest" beauty and the beast song. I have no idea why... -I have gone to bed fully clothed and I have woken up on my floor. With no pants. What the Hell? -And when people ask 'Have you ever ate fried bull frog?' I can say 'Why, yes, I have.' With a completely straight face and lie through my teeth. Ah, an eventful summer indeed. I think the best part was the D&D meeting. I had no idea what was going on and I still have no clue how to play, but I don't think I've laughed so hard in one day for ages. That is all. Go do something constructive. Think of Collen Farrel's ballsack. Terrifying isn't it?