breaks over. how depressing. i used to like school. what happened? puberty. ahahahahahahaha....ha. mr. mcclure has a silly little facial hair thing going on. it makes me giggle. my eyes are buuuuuurrrning. i think it's from lack of sleep. which is just silly because i went to bed at 6 last night but my silly little family was wonderfully noisy... sillies. so i finally dozed off after watching little mermaid and reading narnia. anyone who says i need to grow up is just.... silly. ahahah...ha. i woke up last night at 3:28. i sure do hate waking up between 3-4. scares the crap out of me. mmhmm... woke up from a dream. more of a nightmare really. i was making a cherry pie for a contest (horrifying, i know) and of course, to get to the contest i had to walk across a frozen river. the river (of couuuurse) was fine for everyone else. but for me. it had to break. just as i was walking over it. it's a sign i'm sure... you're fat it says. mreh. wellllll anyways. i clearly remember falling through the ice and drifting down... down... down... and the current pulling me farther down stream under the ice... and i just decided (in my dreams mind) what's the point? what's the point i'm dead now. and then i thought "i guess i won't learn latin afterall." which is just weird... i think it had to do with the whole waking up at 3-4 am, emily rose and such.... and then, in my dream, i was freezing my balls off... y'know being in a frozen river and i thought "this is god isn't it. this is what everyone's waiting for. i'm being judged" and i'm sure that if i had thought this when i was awake i would have snorted and rolled my eyes. i can't help what i think when i'm asleep though. then i felt warm, hot all at once and i woke up. looked at the clock. tried to calm down... think of calming things... not the terrifying images running through my head. ugh. finally fell back asleep. yeah... so that was interesting. the break sort of sucked to be honest... it was nice to be away from school but my familys little tradition of going outside on christmas day after opening presents was ruined by the lack of snow. we had more snow on thanksgiving... siiiigh. no snowmobiling or anything... "well, nicole, you'll probably live longer than either of us" no kiddin'. darling sisters if you do drugs, sleep around and smoke like a mofo... what do you expect? blaaaah. i'm a horrible person. does it make me horrible if i don't speak up or does it make me horrible if i voice my opinions about their choice constantly... scorning them.. judging. which i don't do. hmm. o.O O.o.... o.o...O.O... O_O.... yep. just kind of makes me angry. if they die then i suppose.... i... wouldn't get anymore stuff stolen from me ^^! teehee. stop looking at me. i hate people... i think i'll just go back into my hole. like a hermit. hermits are pretty cool. yaaa meeeean................ cheers.