You have left me with many memories; I miss you everyday. Sometimes I think of you, Not more than today. You'll never be forgotten, In my heart you are there to stay. I wish I could talk to you, Where ever you may lay. But that would take a miracle; Each day I have to ask why, And why I couldn't say goodbye. I miss you so much; I can't do it on my own. I think of you constantly; And I know you are not alone. With that I want to say I'll think of you everyday.

Saying goodbye is never easy It's the hardest thing to do But what hurts even more Is not the chance to say it to you. Yesterday is just a memory Our laughter was sunny and bright Then clouds started to gather For you were no where in sight. You were my first real love And this I will never forget How you left without a warning No good-byes, my only regret. Wherever I may be now Always searching for another so true To place my world of emotion Handing my love to someone like you. If again I must go there And experience all the pain I would do it in a minute For all the good I would gain. No matter what my wrongs You offered only love Until the day you left me For your new home up above. I know you still are with me Your love is within my heart Though life is no longer present Our souls will never part. This is given to you in honor Of all that we did share I just wanted you to know, dear, How much I really did care.

You meant so much to all of us You were special and that's no lie You brightened up the darkest day And the cloudiest sky Your smile alone warmed hearts Your laugh was like music to hear I would give absolutely anything To have you well and standing near Not a second passes When you're not on our minds Your love we will never forget The hurt will ease in time Many tears I have seen and cried They have all poured out like rain I know that you are happy now And no longer in any pain.

Shane was my best friend in the whole world. He died in a Car accident on September 15, 2005. I really do not know how to deal with this, and lately, i can barely even think. I have had a total of 8 people die in a two week period and I am not coping well with it at all. Shane's funeral was that monday and my boyfriend wouldn't go because I guess he decided to be a prick. He said he wouldn't go because me and Shane used to date. I said what the fuck, do you actually think I am going to fuck him while he is in the casket. So we split. Shane was the last guy I slept with. The last guy I kissed, The only guy I slept with more than once... and I am taking this very hard. We had talked not even a half hour before he crashed also killing two others, Thomas and Whitney... Too much has happened in the last 2 and a half weeks, and I seriously do not know what I am going to do... I thought about killing myself and soon realized that that is not the way... b/c that is the only unforgiveable sin, which means I would never be able to see him again. So I will see him when the time comes and I will love him forever... And Danielle can go to hell for all the lies she has told. I want to thank everyone who has been there for me the last couple of weeks. And shane If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven, and bring you home again. RIP I Love You

me and jackass broke up a long time ago I just haven't really had anytime to write in this thing...I have pretty much given up on guys they all are a bunch of losers who like to be attached to their mommas nipple. Anyways the single life has been great and I am looking forward to having a blast with everything................especially flirting...well g2g love yall bye

title says it all

Man I haven't worte in this thing in a long time. Derrick and I are still dating. 4 months on Monday, which is great for me because I really haven't been able to stay in a relationship ever since my first real love. So, maybe this is my second love. lol Anyways, I really can't wait until prom. I have this really pretty dress, and Derrick is so damn sexy in a tux. Dark hair Dark eyes, that mystery look always gets me. I get hot just looking at him ... jk... a little. I really need to change my background it hasnt been changed in god knows when. I am so glad that we have stayed to gether this long. but the only thing that scares me is that he is still a virgin, and that scares me bc i do not want to be his first. but i got the feeling that i am going to be his first just because we have already gone so far. I love him alot and it wouldn;t bother me to take it, if i didn;t have a bad first time. and i dont want him to be like i can't believe i slept with that whore if we ever break up. U can call me weird if you want, but he is the nicest guy i have ever dated. I do not want to loose him.. which i almost did last night. I was just kidding around and drove around the block, but he thought i left, i really didn't think anything of it, but i found out it really did hurt him. I had no intention of doing so. he cannot tell when i am kidding and when i am not. i look so serious when i am kidding and i willl admit to that. and he thinks i am constantly mad at him, which i am not. but now since we got that all worked out we are ok. well i am going to go and change my background mare

sorry I havent wrote in this thing in a long time it has been kinda hectic in my life right now but so far everything is going great. me and derrick are doing great, and we have almost been dating 3 months. i really cant believe that it has lasted this long. but i am glad we had a drug check at our school today a bunch of people got busted they had the dogs go in the parking lot and sniff the cars. it was neat to see, but i guess it wasn't so neat for the people with drugs in their cars. prom is coming up pretty soon and I found my dress, but i do not have enough money to buy it. $188.00 yeah to everyone with rich mommy and daddys that may not seem like a lot but for us who have to buy their own dress on top of insurance and and gas....you know that that is a lot of money. well it is lunch peace out

there isn't really anything ging on here in my life at the moment. today is going really bad

I messed things up between me and derrick. I am so mean. Everything was going so great between us. And then I always yelled at him and made such a big deal about everything. Which the only problem I have with him is that he doesn't listen to me.. He was so sweet to me on the phone and I just shot him down... A lot of the times I am just joking, but I am not a very good joker. And he takes it serious... I know that some of the things that I joke about really should not be joked about. I really love hime and I know that I am losing him.

I just found out that one of my friends died last summer in a car accident. right after his graduation. I moved right before school let out last summer. No one called and told me. None of my so called friends. Derrick asked why the family didn't call.. B/C they were in mourn and they don't want to talk about it. I just can't believe that he died. I really can't I was so shocked, more to hear that no one told me... No one picked up the damn phone and called me. Not one single person. Which is a bunch of bulshit...AND A BUNCH OF IT TOOOOOOO..... You fucking Mount Vernon punks. I mean wouldn't any one be pissed off..,????

Derrick and I went to the mall. We walked around and saw some prom dresses. I found this one I really liked and better yet, he really liked to. Then we went and sat in my blazer, and made out like crazy, he is one of the best kissers I have ever had, that makes me feel like I am waiting for something something special which I can do. I love him a lot and I can wait as long as it takes for him no prob. It is really great that we have lasted this long. I told him that I don't know what I would do if he ever left me, he said If I ever left him he would die. And that made me realize that he really means a lot to me

he got me a card and it said that on valentines day do whatever makes you happy on the inside it said I make you happy lol

I miss derrick.... yeah anyways. I get to see him today. I have been looking for a job for sometime now. We had it out last night and he got mad and said that i wouldn't understand if he tried to tell me. So I got peed off and said Well I am sorry that i am to dumb to understand your problems. They are just to complex for me. He got peed and said that he didn't mean it that way, and i know he didn't it just peed me off.

Patrick told me that derrick had his arm around a girl at school. Well it is a long story but the girl turned out to be a lesbian that was a friend and patrick just wanted me and derrick to break up. where he could move in. Derrick was hugging me and kissing me when he laid his head on my shoulder and said I love you Mara... I don't know what i would have done if i would have lost you and I felt the tears on my neck. Needless to say that melted my heart big time and i felt really bad about the whole thing. he is starting to hate patrick now which is perfectly fine bc patrick hates him anyways. g2g bells gonna ring lov mara

didn't go to terribly well. I was in a bad mood and derrick just seemed to make it worse. and he actually said he was trying to annoy me. Isn't that lovely. Then, we found out that my brother has put my grandmother in debt again... by 7,000 dollars.Thats not all. She is 87 years old. How can you steal an 87 year olds credit card and run it uup that high. Thats. pretty shitty don't you think. I do not understand how someone can do that... I would feel bad. Really bad.. But hey what ever right. Now she has to file for bankrupcy and she is in a bind for seven years which means no credit what so ever. So i am really peed off... pretty much at my whole family. My mom knew I had plans last night and she took my vehicle anyways. Yeah MY VEHICLE. no note no nothing... just takes my vehicle runs up the gas and sticks none in there. Common CURTESY. something my mom obviously doesn't have. I am so glad that we only have a half day today because if it was any longer i think I would explode.. Well gotta get to class peace out... My background is a little different now.. lol Love Mara

Yesterday was mine and Derricks one month aniversary. He was such an ass. We only talked for a total of 30 min. he would rather talk to his ex girlfriend. for and hour and a half. yeah isn't that lovely. then he wants to compare me to her and you just don't do that... ok write more later bells bout to ring

me and derrick will be dating one month tomorrow. I can't wait, this has been my longest relationship in a long time. and I really hope that is lasts. He is such a nice guy and I love him a lot, Wow I am so siked. I really really really like him alot. Well thats all I have to say... But I don't think I will ever break up with him for abnybody, ALready did that once, not doing it again, it was such a big mistake the first time. Love evryone...... NOT..... MAra

well I got a newe bf... I switch those things faster than I switch panties... lol jk Yeah his name is Derrick and so far he hasn't done anything dumb... Which is surprising considering he is a guy.... No need to really explain that one. But it could be that he is a youth minister,,, but who knows. RIGHT??? I might actually have a winner this time. AND he is hottttt with a capital HOT. well g2g love ya

We've had finals about the last week and it sucks major ass. Just got done with the one in keyboarding. It was so easy. But some of the questions were tuff.. lol I just am stressin bout my geometry final. Ya know... Anyways back to the wanderful DRAMA of Mara's life Well Chris told this girl that he couldn't stop thinking about me and doesn't understand why I am so mad at him... first of all I am not mad at him... Second of all, STOP thinking about me... He said that I was a disapointment because I wasn't a virgin anymore, so maybe if he thinks about that then maybe it'll disapoint him so bad that he won't like me like that n e more. Back to school the DRAMA This bitch almost got me suspended for her damn lies. Well sort of lies that is.. She was actually telling the truth but she has lied so mush, no one believes her anymore... So heres the story Well ever since the first day of school, when I moved here from Mt. Vernon, She has lied her ass off to look cool... So I told her to quit lieing because everyone is tired of it and she has no friends anymore and yada yada yada... (And that I was gonna kick her ass if she didn't stop spreading shit about me...) This part I didn't say to her face, b?c I knew that she would take me down to the office, but things get around. Needless to say she went down to the principles office and tried to get me suspended over this dumb shit.... Needless to say nothing happened to me, but the principal is trying to get this dumb bitch some counseling, Principals words exactle... "There is something seriously wrong with that girl and it has nothing to do with you hunny" She called me hunny so I was like AWWWW hell yeahh I am out of that ringer. So when worse comes to worse just act all nice to the school officials an u get out of everything....