Have you ever got that feeling that life is unbareable? Well today is kinda like that. You know the kind of day that is goig so crappy that you feel like everything is falling on top of you and you can't breathe. When I am pissed I laugh and it is kind of weird. No one can tell when I am having a bad day especially today. Today I was extremely happy, as most of you who go to school with me could tell. But the way you can tell is if I take somhting and mutilate it... Like today it was an apple. That apple was juice by the time I got done with it. and everyone just laughed with me. I think my chemicals are a little unbalanced. Now don't get me wrong I do cry, but only when something really serious happens. Such as somone dieing I truly care about, but that is only days after and when everyone else is over it, I break down. I think that the reason why I am like this is because I feel as if I have to be strong for everyone else and once that they are strong then I can handle my own emotions. But who knows. I have friends and everything but sometimes I realize that they truly are not my friends and they will stab me in the back whenever needed. Like that is how it was last night, with Shane. I called and I needed a shoulder to lean on, doesn't everyone need it sometime. And he literally screamed at me, we have been through a lot and we are always there for each other. He just screamed WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?? and he didn't even apologize. he didn't call me back and he is changing. Just like all the others. N E ways, you know what I am really proud of myself... I have gained 6 pounds and I am so happy about that. Well I don't really have to much else to say unless i ramble on some more how this day is unbareable and waste some more time or I can just get started making it better