I messed things up between me and derrick. I am so mean. Everything was going so great between us. And then I always yelled at him and made such a big deal about everything. Which the only problem I have with him is that he doesn't listen to me.. He was so sweet to me on the phone and I just shot him down... A lot of the times I am just joking, but I am not a very good joker. And he takes it serious... I know that some of the things that I joke about really should not be joked about. I really love hime and I know that I am losing him.