You'll sit alone forever If you wait for the right time What are you hoping for? -jimmy eat world. so today i felt like absolute shit. my family and i went to washington d.c for a protest. it was a long car ride. 4 hours. i slept on the way there. the protest was long 11:30-4pm. er. i wanted to pass out. i was still dizzy and whatever. i ended up flipping out on my parents cause they keep making fun of me and i couldnt take it anymore. so i lashed out. thats the problem,sometimes i feel like such the black sheep of the family because it just seems like they treat my 2 brothers differently. i hate being the middle child. On the way home from washington, i thought about everything that has happened since school started. i hate looking back at everything that has happened cause it just makes me really sad.i thought about sean and how we were together from june till october. i know its not along time. and i wasnt inlove with him or anything but the pain is still there. i thought about everything he said to me and all the good memories we had. and out of nowhere when school started he slowlying drifted away from me & then i lost him completely. then i thought about how im even losing my best friend to the girl i hate beyond anything. i said something to her about it last night, and it was like she just blew me off.i was like whats up? we dont hang out with leila anymore? and she just said. ya it blows.lol. but i need to go to sleep ill ttyl. and i just sat there in disbelief. it really does hurt, that she doesnt even care. ive tried to blow it off and not care myself but in the end it hurts. i cried quietly on the wway so no one would notice that i was upset. im tryin to hold it all together. but i cant anymore. i feel like ive reached my breakin point and im about to explode.ive tried not to care about any of this but i do and thats whats makin me emotionally sick. ♥leila