. . inbetween reality & dreams wow i havent written in here in a long time. but things have gotten a little better i think. im over sean, it still hurts when i see him.but im okay now and i know i will be. the best friend situation is better. sometimes it feels like im walking on thin ice with her. but im not dwelling on it anymore. ive spent to much time makin myself sick over these two people. and i know its not worth it. . . it never was. ive been tryin to stay away from drama. the useless highschool drama. im tryin to go through a shut down period away from people. my mind has been to cluttered. ive been dealing with everyone else's problem except my own. school is out this week, i think im gonna use to figure things out. i need to figure out the relationships in my life, what to do with people. i need to figure out how to calm things down in my homelife. basically i need to repioritze everything in my life. im trying to lift myself from the hole i dug. im trying to not to get depressed agian. i cant get back to that place anymore.ive been gettin so upset lately over everything. everyone always portrays me as this strong person. im afraid to tell them, i also need help. when im upset it, it seems that nobody ever gives a damn but when they are upset they want me to drop everything for them. ugh. i started SATs classes the other night. just more stress to add onto me. it hit me that im graduatin in a year and half. i need to start lookin at colleges and that scares me. . . is the fight of my will again.. . leila faye